Acceptance Is The Key to Happiness

Acceptance Is The Key to Happiness

Most of us have so many expectations from and pre-conceived notions about life and everything in it, that we spend a majority of our waking hours measuring the gap between how things "SHOULD BE" and how they actually "ARE".

We tend to spend our entire lives wishing we were different, or the people around us were different, or even that our whole life was different from what it currently is!

We constantly COMPARE ourselves with others, people who *seem* better-off than us, and create unrealistic expectations that naturally lead to frustrations and anxiety.

We set benchmarks and we remain unhappy because the reality is nowhere close to those benchmarks.

Link between acceptance and happiness

The more we compare, the more inadequate we begin to feel, creating a loop of lack and worthlessness that feeds on itself. The only thing that can break this vicious cycle is ACCEPTANCE.

Complete, unconditional acceptance.

Happiness, thus, begins with acceptance.

How to Develop Acceptance: The Key to Happiness?

When we are born, we are naturally accepting of everything and everyone, but as we grow up, we are subconsciously trained to judge. We need to consciously reprogram this judgmental mindset back to its default state of acceptance.

Acceptance of what?

  1. Acceptance of self.

    We have created this image of a perfect "self" in our mind, and we keep trying to live up to it. That perfect self is naturally neither too fat, nor too thin. It is not too tall, nor too short, and it has the perfect set of eyes, nose, lips, and that perfectly toned body.

    We then set restrictions upon ourselves, based on that perfect image.
    "Don't wear shorts if you don't have slender legs."
    "Hide your body if you're fat."
    "You must be a good cook if you are a woman."
    "You must be earning so-and-so amount of money every year to be called a *successful* man."
    But all these restrictions are in fact prisons WE lock ourselves into. We need to set ourselves free from the bondage of this perceived "perfection". We need to BELIEVE that we are AWESOME just the way we are. Despite all our "shortcomings". Maybe even because of them.

    Until and unless we learn to accept ourselves and LOVE ourselves as we are, nobody else will either.

  2. Acceptance of other people.

    Acceptance of self is the first step in acceptance of others. If we can accept ourselves with all our shortcomings, we will stop seeking perfection in others too. Because we will understand that that's how human beings are made. Imperfect.

    Yes, some people can be really self-centered, mean and hurtful at times, whether intentionally or unintentionally. But, if we wish to be happy, we need to let them be whoever they choose to be, and DISREGARD any negativity they bring to our life.

    We cannot change them anyway. Besides, it's not even our job to change them! So why raise our blood pressure? We can simply try to find a workaround to deal with them as best as possible, or, if nothing seems to work, just let go of them... FORGIVE and move on with our own life.

    After all, WE are responsible for our OWN happiness.

  3. Acceptance of circumstances in life.

    If things can go wrong, they will. As Allen Saunders has said -
    "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
    Got fired because of the economic meltdown? Lost a limb in an accident? Caught your wife cheating? Pet dog died before you could take him on a trip to the mountains?

    Face it. Shit happens. And more shit is just waiting to happen. If we try to stop it from happening, then a different shit will happen, but it will happen nonetheless. Best to just accept it, and remain CALM.

    Life is not going to change its nature to accommodate us, right? It's best that we learn to look at our setbacks with OPTIMISM, treat them as learning opportunities, and continue to keep our mind filled with positive THOUGHTS, because happiness is a CONSCIOUS choice.

How to Develop Acceptance: The Key to Happiness?
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We keep wishing for things to change so that we can be happy, and we don't realize that we need to simply accept them the way they are, and be GRATEFUL for them, in order to be truly happy.

Do you accept things the way they are?
Do you wish certain things were different?
About you?
About others?
About your life?
Does wishing so make you feel better?
What is the one thing in your life that you wish you could learn to accept?

This is my first post for A to Z 2019.

I have attempted this challenge twice before, and published one kindle ebook out of it. You can get it on amazon: A to Z of Blogging: Take Your Blog To the Next Level.

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Want to Add Something?

Rachna said...

Very useful post, Chicky. Acceptance is indeed so difficult for most of us. We are so critical of ourselves that even the compliments are often brushed aside. Relevant post!

Ramya Abhinand said...

Chikki I so get you. Its all about Acceptance. I must mention though that there are times when I get into my introspective mode, thinking about all things that encompasses my life. And every time I reflect upon the acceptance aspect, I accept myself the way I am. I thoroughly fail to accept other people. I get so worked up and then I fret. Its handling people that I struggle. But well, life is work in progress right ? :)

Vinay Leo R. said...

Absolutely, Chicky. Accepting who we are is important in life, because we tend to shoot for the stars of perfection that others seem to set for us, and then sulk because we failed that target.

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