Be Free. Be You.

Day 13 of "2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge" : Be Free. Be You.

I see people all around me trying so hard to please others... parents, husband, wife, relatives, boss... the list goes on. We Indians are especially experts at this. It has been ingrained deep into our psyche that we must be the prodigal son/daughter, the perfect husband/wife, generous like "Karna", hospitable like "Sudama" and what not!

We must cancel our own plans if a relative drops by unannounced. Attendance is mandatory if there is a wedding in the family. Wives must always treat husbands like God. Children must always sacrifice their own dreams for their parents' wishes. And the icing on the cake... the pressure of "samaaj kya bolega?" (What will the society say?)

So, in short, an average Indian has to first repay the "debt" that he apparently "owes" to his parents for bringing him into this meaningless world, and for fulfilling (or not!) their duties as parents.

Then he has to make sure he doesn't do anything that challenges his "society" to think beyond its established norms.

Once married, he also has to fulfill the demands of his wife, who is most likely chosen by his parents, based on her compatibility with their "society" and not with him. In case of females, she has to live up to the expectations of her in-laws and extended in-laws too.

Then, of course, there are those endless obligations towards relatives, and their relatives, and sometimes even their relatives.

Phewwww! After working so hard to please soooo many people, if someone still has any energy left, then he can finally try to do a few things that he enjoys!

In this whole process, however, we forget one very important thing.

You see that image above? That's the basic atomic structure we all learnt in high school Chemistry. In the center is the nucleus, and moving all around it are electrons. The electrons can come and go, but the nucleus must remain steady. We forget that we are that nucleus.

In being a good son/daughter, husband/wife, relative/friend, we forget who we were meant to be, who we really are. After all, each one of us is different... each one of us is an individual.

So remember... you may become a good son, a good husband, a good father, a good role model in society, but what really matters is "were you a good YOU?"

Sort out your priorities. First, be true to yourself. Be free. Be what you're meant to be. Be the best possible YOU. And then do the best you can for your parents, and everybody else.

This is my 13th post for 2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge.
Link to the previous post: "A Day Without Computer"

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Want to Add Something?

Richa Singh said...

How true! and this is something that I have been screaming my lungs over to people all the time. But like you mentioned we indians have this quality so deeply rooted it will take time. But then posts like these form a great reminder to us about the flaws behind this thinking :)


Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

@Richa - Deep DEEP D-E-E-P-L-Y rooted! Even Indians who have spent most of their adult life outside India, fall back into the same pattern as soon as they come back to the country!

Kaneenika Sinha said...

So true! wear your own protective mask in an emergency before trying to help others. What's more, if one is true to oneself, the demands/expectations/opinions of other relatives, neighbours, acquaintances cease to matter as much. But, in our social context, it is not easy, especially for many women who are often made to feel guilty if they do anything for themselves!

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

That's true, Kaneenika. It is especially difficult for females in our society, but the guys aren't left free either.

Smita said...

So well written and so true!!! I always preach this to people around me....don't forget your self in the worry of fulfilling ur other duties! U have a duty to urself too

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Exactly, Smita, but it's quite easy to forget oneself in our country.

the little princess said...

i loved this post!!!! echoes my sentiment and that's why my motto is goli maaro sab ko.... and live ur life how you want to!

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

@ the little princess - Exactly! That's such a brilliant motto! And thank you! :D

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