I Miss You Friend!

When I was a little kid, I had this make-believe "invisible" friend (like most kids that age do). My friend used to live in our bathroom at our old house in Kanpur.

He never criticized me or found faults in me or judged me in anyway. He always listened eagerly to whatever I shared with him.

I used to tell him all kinds of stuff -- used to work out complicated math problems with him, solve computer assignments, revise battle dates in history, practice the school songs -- everything. And whenever I was hurt or sad about something, I used to pour out all my woes to him as well.

He never invalidated my feelings... or told me that it was wrong to cry or to feel this way. He just listened to me patiently until I was done... and then got around to planning ways to "get back" at the people who had hurt me. Our little "revenges" as we called them.

But he was so funny. He used to think up of the most outrageous things to do to these people... which somehow turned the entire situation into a big comedy show! Our revenges were never hurtful in nature -- always comic!

I always had such a vivid imagination... I could actually follow the entire threads of conversations between the two of us in my mind! And in the end, I'd come out of the bathroom with peace in my life restored. I guess it was my childish way of letting off steam.

My parents thought I was suffering from severe constipation because of the amount of time I spent in the bathroom!

I frankly had no idea back then what "constipation" meant... and I suppose I couldn't care much about it either! All that mattered to me was that there was "someone" in that bathroom who made me feel good about the world and myself.

Then my family shifted to a new place in the same colony...

My friend didn't come with us... or maybe he just got left behind accidentally...

I don't really remember... it's been so long now...

Fear Prevails in My Blogging Community...

I recently mentioned something about "fear" on my blog here... and how it keeps us from exploring our true potential and knowing the "REAL" us in all our glory and full form!

Apparently, I'm not the only one to have realized how we let our "fears" hold us back from doing big things. Read what Vatsap has to say about his experience regarding it... (http://www.vatsap.com/?p=1282)

I just so totally agree with him... it's almost as if he has taken the words out of my own mouth and put them on his blog!

Recently, I have also been wondering about how people let go of their dreams... or even refuse to acknowledge their existence... or pretend those dreams don't matter much anyways... just b'coz they are not ready to let go of their fears.

It's true - each one of us really does live his/her life in perpetual fear. There is not a single one of us who doesn't live in fear! And fear of what? Failure? But we weren't so fearful when we were babies! Had it been the case, we'd have never learnt to walk!

Then what really does happen between the time we were babies -- totally fearless about anything in the world, and believing that we truly were THE BEST -- and the time when we are all grown up and supposedly "mature"? Why do we stop believing ourself? Why do we stop believing our dreams? Why do we stop believing that we can convert our dreams into a reality?

Over a period of years, we just tend to lose ourselves - the REAL us. We become as artificial and superficial as the world around us. Life was meant to be simple and straightforward, but we make it so complicated. We create this unnecessary aura of mystery around us... and ambiguity.

We treat life like it was a game of chess where we have to plan each move to win. But life wasn't meant to be like this. There wasn't supposed to be anyone winning or anyone losing! We were all meant to be winners! Life was supposed to be like a restaurant, where we place the order and it was served to us - no questions asked!

Then where did this "fear" enter the picture... that we won't be served what we ask for unless we try to manipulate things? Why can't we be clear about what we want to order in life, and then relax in peace that it will be delivered to us?

And yes... on an ending note...

"There are millions of men, and women on this planet. Then why is my image so important to me? Or anyone else?"

Why indeed?