Relationships ???

Was just wondering today about the so many different relationships I am in, with so many different people... my dad, my sister, my relatives, my friends, my best friends... and also about the so many different relationships I've had in the past, with people who are not in my life anymore... my mom, old classmates, school teachers, office-colleagues, so-called "boyfriends"...

I have met so many MANY people in my life. Why is it that some of them still continue to be a part of my life while some don't? What if the people who have been with me for so long now were to leave me or grow apart from me someday? Would it hurt me? Would it make my life miserable and not worth living? Am I so dependent on any one person for my happiness in life? What difference would it make if my friends didn't have time to see me or talk to me anymore? How would it affect me if they didn't feel the need to share their lives with me anymore?

Did I bring them along with me when I was born? I did bring my 2 legs, 2 hands, 2 eyes, a nose, mouth, 2 ears, lungs, a heart, a brain... So if I needed someone so essentially here to live my life, wouldn't I have brought him/her along with me too? But I didn't. Then what exactly are relationships for? Are they just instruments God gave us to help us do our job here, complete the assignments we were sent here to do?

How do relationships come into existence by the way? Two people met. One was bold & confident. The other was gentle & giving. They spent some time together & decided they make a good team together. So they became friends. Two more people met. One was witty & humorous. The other was organized & helpful. They decided to become friends too. Another two people met. One was wise & wanted to help others with his wisdom. And the other was going through some tough times. They had reasons to benefit from each other too.

And thus I sat down and analyzed all the various relationships I have been in so far & have seen around me till now. And I realized that each person in my life came in for a specific purpose. Each of my friends, relatives & family members had a role to play in my growth & development. Just like I had a role to play in theirs. And once that purpose is fulfilled, we just "move on".

Children find friends at school... & the parents are left behind. Adults find girlfriends/boyfriends or get married... & friends are left behind too. Husbands find "challenge-thrills" at work & wives are left behind. Wives get busy with children & husbands are left behind. It's like each one of us is a "stepping stone" for the people in our lives... just like they are for each one of us!

What does this make us then? Selfish? Or is this the way we were destined to be? Is this what is called "detachment"? You need someone for a certain period in your life... and then you "out-grow" them (like clothes!) and seek the next person who'd help you along
the next phase of your life's journey. We don't get attached to our old clothes & shoes. Then why do we want people to stay with us forever? Each person in our life is there for a specific phase in our life. Then why do we want to remain stuck in one particular phase only, just so we don't have to let go of the people with us in that phase?

That two people might decide to transit together to the next phases of their lives respectively is a different matter. But if one person chooses to remain stuck in one phase, thereby holding back the other person's growth too, then isn't it better for the latter to move on without the former? What really is the main purpose of our lives? To work on our own growth or to form ties? And even if we do form everlasting ties with people, then what? Are we going to take them along with us when we die too? But we didn't bring them along with us when we were born, remember?

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Want to Add Something?

Anonymous said...

Well, miss_teerious, a deep thought-provoking blog entry. Many such questions in my mind too. Nice one !!
- Your fan (in orkut) again.

jeet said...

hello kadzz....

well..first off...a very nice blog!
secondly coming to relationships..
just imagine urself without any relationship..
i mean detach urself from all the u c urself then?? wats ur identity??
u r always gonna be someones daughter..sister..freind..wife..g/f etc...
So Like its said in GEETA...
this is all required but then one has to set himself free from this things..i.e. u shld b deeply into relationships watever it is...just take care that u have good relationships & then when time comes...u shld be ready to detach urself from that relationship...bcoz tats wat life is...the time u spent in that relationship is the "experience" u save in 4 ur tats all abt it!!
"Xpereince the relationships!!"
apart fro end this i would say that everything is an ILLUSION..i mean EVERYTHING! :)

Kaddu said...

Hmmmm! You know u hv a point thr Jeet... even Jesus Christ is also tied in a relationship - "Mother Mary's son"!... so where will we ignorant souls go without relationships!
But yes, detachment at the right time is what I meant. Enjoy the togetherness as long as we are both growing, but if one feels like a relationship is holding one back from doing his Karma, then like Gautam Buddha, we too need to break those "ties".

Kadambari said...

this was really interesting..a whole new meaning to all that we are here for..
am kadambari..btw...also called...kaddu!

Kaddu said...

:D My name is also Kadambari... nick-name Kaddu as u figured! :D

Btw, I hv been thru ur blog earlier.. infact u'll find one of my blogposts inspired by one of urs! I think I left sum comments too on ur blog long ago, but didn't get a reply - perhaps u weren't frequenting on blogger too often at tht time!

Actually, I started reading ur blog even b4 I created mine! I wanted to name my blog "kaddu", but blogger said it was already taken, so I decided to chk out who had taken it! :D

I like ur style of writing... & sum of ur posts hv been really thought provoking. Keep writing! All the best! :)

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

loved this post...

Kaddu said...

Me too! :-D
It's one of my fav posts on my blog. I still come back to it everytime I find myself struggling with any relationship in my life. It puts me in the right perspective again.

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