Wednesday, April 26, 2017

A to Z of Happiness: V - Values #atozchallenge @AprilA2Z

What are your values?

If I were to ask this question today on my Facebook wall, majority of the answers will either be vague, or they'll be generic traits that are considered desirable in the section of society where that particular respondent belongs.

It is true. Our societal and familial backgrounds do shape our values to certain extent, but not completely. The reality is, that most of us blindly do whatever our parents tell us, or the society expects from us. We never even bother to stop and think about what WE want in life, what are OUR priorities, what inspires us and what doesn't.

And that's where our unhappiness begins.


Values

How Do Values Affect Our Happiness?


They Give Purpose To Our Life.


Our personal values are the driving force in our life. They are a central part of who we are. They define what's important to us. They define us. They could be anything... family, career, ambition, service, honesty, reliability, punctuality, independence, selflessness... there are dozens of values, and any number of them could be important to us.

All of us have our own set of personal values. For example, my Dad could have some values, but the values that drive me could be different from his. And if I try to live my life according to his values, I will never be happy.

That is why, we use our values to identify what is right or wrong... for US. We use them to identify our priorities. We use them to understand what we want from life. They are the guidelines based on which we take decisions in life. When we face multiple options in life, our values point us in the right direction.

Whether we recognize them or not, they continue to mold us and our life. They give us goals, and they give us the INSPIRATION (Covered under 'I') to achieve those goals.


They Remove Clutter From Our Life.


Mahatma Gandhi said - "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

When our words and actions are in sync with our personal values, we are content. When our life is in direct conflict with our values, we experience feelings of frustration, guilt, confusion, discontentment, and even anger or resentment, if those conflicting decisions have been forced upon us. In short, we become unhappy.

For example, if you are a family oriented person, but you're in a job that frequently requires overtime, you will always be stressed. If you value honesty, and you're in a sales job where you have to constantly bend the truth to meet your targets, you will never be satisfied with your job. If you are an ambitious career-oriented girl, forced to quit job to take care of family, you will eventually lose all your self worth and become very frustrated with your life.

That is why, it is important to acknowledge our values, and then make life choices that align with those values. Knowing our values helps in removing the unnecessary distractions from our life, things that do not add meaning to our life, things that deviate us from our life purpose. It helps in SIMPLIFYING (Covered under 'S') our life.


They Keep Us Going When The Going Gets Tough.


So many times in life, we face setbacks and disappointments. Everything seems to be going uphill for us. We lose focus of where we were going, and why we were going there anyway. We lose the urge to fight. We feel like quitting.

Remember this popular quote? "When you want to give up, remember why you started." - author unknown

Our values do that for us. They remind us why we started.

Whenever we come to a point in life where we find ourselves fumbling in the dark, we should stop for a moment and rethink about our values. If we have lost track of our goals somewhere along the way, reassessing our values will set us on the right path once again. And if we are on the right track, the sight of our goals ahead will encourage us to keep going.

Remembering our values in times of adversity, gives us the strength to overcome our challenges. It make us RESILIENT. (Covered under 'R'.)


When we know our values, we can make decisions with clarity and confidence. Some choices in life may seem difficult, but we are able to make them anyway, because they feel right... for US. Remaining true to our values gives us a sense of integrity. It gives us a reason to be happy.

Do you ever feel restless and frustrated, but you can't put a finger on why? Do you ever feel "scattered" in all directions at once? Or that you have a little too much on your plate? How do you sort things through then? Do you know what your personal values are?

This is my 22nd post for A to Z of Happiness.

I have completed this challenge once before, and published it as a kindle ebook. You can get it on amazon: A to Z of Blogging: Take Your Blog To the Next Level.

(Continued below sponsored content)


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28 comments:

Shilpa Garg said...

I like that thought..."When you want to give up, remember why you started".
Agree... We are truly happy when there is sync between what we believe in and what we do.

Cathy Graham said...

Way to go, Chicky! Another very wise post. I have enjoyed your posts.They have reminded and reinforced many topics that I know about but have forgotten or pushed aside. Values is a good one. If we don't know our values, it is difficult to have goals and direction. Thanks for the reminder to focus on my values as often they get hazy in the busyness of daily life. I often feel scattered but in a good way because I have many interests and can't choose just one. My values are to live simply with love and creativity focusing less on material things and more on experiences and relationships. I feel more content when I do that.

Happy A to Zing. We're almost done! Woohooo! Now onto my W post which I have yet to write!

Suzy said...

A thought provoking post. Very true we should live our life according to our values not the values of others.

Sreesha Divakaran said...

I like the idea that we must have our own set of values, than those borrowed from others, say, our parents. That said, the post made me think... I'll be pondering over it for a while.

Vinodini Iyer said...

I completely agree with you on your thought that everyone should have their own values. One cannot adapt values blindly. They can definitely tweak those values to adapt them as per their background and personality. Love the crux of this post.

shalini said...

Values are so important as they make us or break us!! Its also important to align with peeps with a value system that matched yours for better compatibility!

Visit my blog for the Pergrination Chronicles as I meander through the AtoZchallenge where I am telling travel tales by the alphabet!!

​Wish upon the stars

the little princess said...

All three points are true...values do keep us going when the going gets tough... I am glad you added values to the cause of happiness list.
Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

Molly of Molly's Canopy said...

I read somewhere that writing out a personal values statement and pinning it up where you can see it regularly can help guide you on your most fulfilling path. Your post certainly reinforces that concept!

Sara C. Snider said...

Love the Gandhi quote. I'm getting there. :)

A to Z 2017: Magical and Medicinal Herbs

Irfanuddin said...

Actually what happens, as we grow up we learn the way our family or our parents live and how they value life. What they consider more important in life then anything else, is what we learn, this is a natural thing to happen......A thought provoking post once again.... :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Chicky - so many people just follow what others are doing, and don't think things through for themselves, or stay true to their own values - setting their own standards in their life ... cheers Hilary

http://positiveletters.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/x-is-for-x-war-facts.html

Molly of Molly's Canopy said...

I've really enjoyed your A to Z posts -- and your e-book -- and appreciate your visits/comments on my blog! These sorts of connections among bloggers are something we all value -- please stop back during the year, or at least on May 5 when my A to Z summary post goes up. Bye for now and thanks for being an inspiration!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly Shilpa, and it is so important to find out what truly works for us.

Chicky Kadambari said...

This post was an eye opener for me, Cathy. I don't think I realized till now what really were my values.
Actually, that's the reason I have been lagging behind in this series. It's a personal learning experience for me. I've chosen topics that I wanted to reflect upon anyway, for getting my own act together.
Thank you for sticking around and encouraging me along the way. I will complete the series soon.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly, Suzy! Thank you :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

LOL! Sreesha, I ended up pondering over it for so long that I didn't even complete the series! :P

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly! We need to pick them based on our "personality". That's also important. Thank you, Vinodini :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

Find our own tribe, right Shalini? :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Princess! I am glad too :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hey that's what I've been thinking of doing, Molly! Making a list of my top personal values and pinning them somewhere where I can see them daily!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Me too, Sara! :P
Thank you :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

True, Irfanuddin, but their values might not completely work for us, because we are different individuals with our own ambitions and skills. Thank you! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

That's true, Hilary. We do need to think for ourselves.
Thank you! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Molly. I still have posts to complete in this series. So I'll visit those letters on your blog when I get around to them.
And thank you sooooo much for buying my ebook! I hope you find it useful. Will surely keep in touch! :)

Dr. Anita Sabat said...

Everyone must value values. Make a lot of difference...

Shirley Corder said...

Hi Chicky, I've been reading through all my comments on my A to Z and I spotted your link and thought, "I don't remember reading that post!" And I didn't. I'm so sorry. It's great, and so true. Congrats on reaching the end of the challenge. I hope you had as good a month as I did. Come and visit my world: Share Your World

Chicky Kadambari said...

True, Dr. Anita. Thanks :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hi Shirley. Yes, it was fun, but super hectic.
Glad to connect with you during the challenge.

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