Saturday, April 1, 2017

A to Z of Happiness: A - Acceptance #atozchallenge @AprilA2Z

Most of us have so many expectations from and pre-conceived notions about life and everything in it, that we spend all our waking hours measuring the gap between how things "SHOULD BE" and how they actually "ARE".



But happiness begins with acceptance.

Acceptance of what?

Acceptance of self.

We have created this image of a perfect "self" in our mind, and we keep trying to live up to it. That perfect self is naturally neither too fat, nor too thin. It is not too tall, nor too short, and it has the perfect set of eyes, nose, lips, and that perfectly toned body.

We then set restrictions upon ourselves, based on that perfect image. "Don't wear shorts if you don't have slender legs. Hide your body if you're fat. You must be a good cook if you are a woman. Don't get married if you're a man who isn't earning such-and-such amount of money every year."

But all these restrictions are in fact prisons WE lock ourselves into! We need to set ourselves free from the bondage of this perceived "perfection". We need to accept ourselves as we are. If we don't accept ourselves, nobody else will either.

Acceptance of other people.

Acceptance of self is the first step in acceptance of others. If we can accept ourselves with all our shortcomings, we will stop seeking perfection in others too.

Yes, people can be really self-centered, mean and hurtful at times, whether intentionally or unintentionally. But, if we wish to be happy, we need to let them be whoever they choose to be in a particular moment.

We cannot change them anyway. So why raise our blood pressure? We need to just accept them and find a workaround. And if that's not possible, then perhaps it will be best to let go of them.

Acceptance of circumstances in life.

If things can go wrong, they will. As Allen Saunders has said - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Got fired because of the economic meltdown? Lost a limb in an accident? Caught your wife cheating? Pet dog died before you could take him on a trip to the mountains?

Face it. Shit happens. And more shit is just waiting to happen. If we try to stop it from happening, then a different shit will happen, but it will happen nonetheless. Best to just accept it, let go of stuff we can't have, and move on.


Most of us spend our entire life wishing we were different or the people around us were different or even that our whole life was different from what it currently is!

We set benchmarks and we remain unhappy because the reality is nowhere close to those benchmarks. We keep wishing for things to change so that we can be happy, and we don't realize that we need to simply accept them the way they are, in order to be truly happy.

Do you accept things the way they are? Do you wish certain things were different? About you? About others? About your life? Does wishing so make you feel better? What is the one thing in your life that you wish you could learn to accept?

This is my first post for AtoZ2017.

I have completed this challenge once before, and published it as a kindle ebook.
You can get it on amazon: A to Z of Blogging: Take Your Blog To the Next Level.

(Continued below sponsored content)


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126 comments:

Kala Ravi said...

Mighty words, dear friend. Acceptance is half the battle won in any problem! Glad you decided to be a part of this! Cheers and smiles :)
@KalaRavi16 from
Relax-N-Rave

Shilpa Garg said...

Oh yes, accepting yourself and others the way they are does wonders for our own sanity and peace of mind too. And accepting circumstances is the best way to move ahead. Cribbing, crying will not take us anywhere. Good to see you participating in the challenge. I know, you can do it! :)

Ls said...

Very true.. we can save a lot of war by just accepting people different from us.

bellybytes said...

That's great advice. Too often we depend on others to make ourselves happy.

You are right about accepting ourselves and our lives the way they are. Why should we depend on others' validation to feel happy?

BellyBytes from
Mumbai On A High

Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

Definitely a post worth sharing and saving (saved on Pinterest). I have a feeling all your posts are gonna be saved on my Pinterest "Blog Posts I like" folder :D

My entry for the #AtoZChallenge -
Tv Shows: A - Agents of SHIELD

Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

I think it's natural to wish certain things were different, it's when you cannot see what you have through all the wishing that problems happen. There are certain things in life that must be accepted and that can sometimes be hard, but rewarding.
Tasha
Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

Sheethal Susan Jacob said...

One of the most difficult thing in life is to accept yourself and our situations. Once we are in syn with ourselves and our life, guess life will be more beautiful and happy. :)

All the best for April! Great start.

Dahlia said...

Hi Chicky - truly acceptance is very important for all of us to be able to move on especially with our peace of mind and sanity intact. Great start - look forward to reading more
@mysilverstreaks from
Storiesandmore

Mars said...

Great advice and I love the quote from John Lennon from your theme reveal!

Very timely advice for me this morning about accepting other people as they are, love the A to Z Challenge for these moments of synchronicity

@TrollbeadBlog from
Curling Stones for Lego People

Mithila Menezes said...

Acceptance of other people is super-important. It makes living life less stressful and easier! :)
Hope you had a great first day in the challenge. Good luck :)

Daisy Willows said...

Love this. You now have me - your new follower xx a great and empowering post. @Daisy from
Daisyinthe willows

Rajlakshmi said...

It's only when we accept are we able to take steps to alleviate the problem. Well that's what I believe. :) Loved your thoughts. Glad you too are taking part :D

Visiting from A to Z Challenge
Pam's Unconventional Alliance Team
A Whimsical Medley
Twinkle Eyed Traveller

Debs Carey said...

Great start to a lovely theme. Looking forward to reading more throughout the month.

Debs Carey
@debscaringcoach
www.bunnyandthebloke.com
www.caringcoaching.co.uk"

Ruchi Singh said...

Lovely subject, so necessary in today's world. Great start. Happy A to Z.

My blog: www.iluvfiction.com

Parul said...

Happiness begins with oneself and not possible unless we accept ourselves first. Then of course others and our circumstances. Most of the problems in life happen cos we don't want to see ourself as we are or others as they are and then we are always trying to change our circumstances. Great post.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Love it. Excellent post. The more I try to control everything, the worse everything gets.
The Really Real Housewives

Monica Deshpande said...

A great post on something that I really struggle with. I love the quote - it describes my condition perfectly. :)

Scarlett Braden said...

Very well said. Life is a much happier existence living in the now and only worrying about one's self. Enjoy the challenge!
@ScarlettBraden from
Frankly Scarlett

Inderpreet Kaur said...

I agree, such wise thoughts, acceptance is the beginning.
your tweet has an @ missing in front of your twitter handle, do check fix it.

*Inderpreet/EloquentArticulation*

Nibhz said...

Perfect start for the daily dose of happiness. I'm coming here daily. Thanks for reminding me of Acceptance!

Nibha @ Expressions
Arriving Late

taleoftwotomatoes said...

Wow! I'm saving this. Loved the write and I will definitely come back for more!

*Shalini @ Something's Cooking

*Read Army Wife Tales @ TaleofTwoTomatoes

Amy Putkonen said...

Hi Chicky! This is a nice word to start us off! See you in the challenge!

G Angela David said...

very true ! accepting one self as you are is very important. It makes one comfortable and also helps you feel at home, without having to pretend and mask. Accepting others happen only when you are ready to accept yourself without any conditions.... nice to read and thanks for sharing !

the little princess said...

Such a beautiful post Chicky! I just needed to read this! I have a feeling another book is in the making after this challenge!

Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

Aathira said...

Unless we accept circumstances and life as it is, I don't think finding peace will be an easy task. One should embrace imperfections as well because that is what makes us who we are.

holli said...

Hi, very good post about acceptance. Its so hard NOT to be hard on ourselves and accept body changes, etc.
Stopping by from the A to Z challenge. Have a great day, Holli

Tracy S said...

Great topic! I'm not sure which is hard: acceptance of self, or acceptance of others. It is so easy to judge others without knowing what they are going through, and it is so easy to judge yourself because you know all of your "faults" so personally.

I am working on accepting myself and accepting others. Sometimes it is more of a challenge than others, but as long as I keep moving along, I'm happy :)

Tracy (Black Boots, Long Legs)

Debbie D. said...

Oh yes, shit definitely happens! The "Serenity Prayer" definitely comes to mind here. ☺ I love this: "Just accept them and find a workaround." That goes a long way towards inner peace. Great start to the challenge, Chicky!

Gypsy Momma said...

Truly accepting yourself is in my opinion the second hardest thing. Forgiving ourselves is the hardest. Like it or not, we our our own greatest critics. I have found however that living consciously is the only way to beat that inner critic. Lovely post.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Kala! I'm glad too! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Shilpa! Yes, acceptance is the only way forward in life!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, Lata!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly, BellyBytes! If we accept ourselves, then others will automatically lose their power over us with their remarks.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Roshan! :D And I'll end up with a huuuuuge list of TV shows to download! :P

Chicky Kadambari said...

Yes Tasha. As the prayer goes - "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Chicky Kadambari said...

Being in sync is the keyword, Sheethal. Rightly put!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Dahlia. I'm looking forward to your posts too! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks you, Mars! We meet again on yet another A to Z! Oh yes, such moments of synchronicity are so common this month!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Less stressful indeed, Mithila! I did! Thanks for asking! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Daisy!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Raji! I almost didn't. So I'm glad too now that I rejoined! :P

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Debs. See you around!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Ruchi!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Parul! Yes, that's true!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, Elizabeth! Happens with me too! That is why I have to learn not to strategize all the time!

Chicky Kadambari said...

I struggle with it too at times, Monica. I think it's one of our so-called human weaknesses.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Scarlett. 'Now' is good enough, right?

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Indy!
Na na, it is not missing just the '@'! It is missing my entire twitter handle! That '~miss_teerious' is part of my post title! :(

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Nibhz! See you around! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Shalini!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Amy! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, G Angela! No need for any masks after self acceptance! Thank you for such lovely words! And thanks a lot for dropping by! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hahaha! Let's see, Princess! Depends on whether I complete this round.

Chicky Kadambari said...

You're right, Aathira... finding peace will be impossible!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, it definitely is hard, Holli! Thank you for stopping by!

Chicky Kadambari said...

I find acceptance of self more difficult, Tracy. That's probably because I value relationships so much that I'm willing to give people second chances and to overlook their imperfections. I find it difficult to do the same for me though. But we keep trying, as you said. Right?
Thank you for stopping by to leave such a meaningful comment on my post! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hey Debbie! I didn't know the Serenity Prayer, so I just googled it! And it is the same one that I just wrote above to Tasha! :D
Thanks for dropping by! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

I totally agree, Gypsy Momma! Forgiving ourselves is the hardest! I've been there!
Thank you for the lovely words! Take care...

Vidya Sury said...

Acceptance - easier said than done. I think life's experiences take us closer to acceptance, and this happens over time. Luckily it happens faster as we live longer. Great choice for A, Chicky!

Patricia Lynne said...

That is an excellent quote. Once we realize that life doesn't always match what's in our head, I think we can accept the challenges thrown at us better.

~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
Story Dam
Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

Rachel said...

that's very true. I know I do, I get frustrated with the world often of not seeming to work up to my standards or seem to understand the principles I do. I guess in some ways I am selfish like that. I guess I always fear if I just accept it I'll be some sort of push over and I definitely don't want to be taken advantage of.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, I completely agree. Acceptance becomes easier as we grow older. Thank you, Vidya! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

True Patricia. Dealing with life becomes easier if we accept things as they are. Thank you!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rachel, I wouldn't call it being selfish. I think it's more to do with being too independent and in control of things at all time. Or maybe we've had bad experiences in the past, which we don't want to repeat. I think we just need to be mindful and try our best. Thank you for sharing your story! :)

Jayanthi Gopal said...


Nice post on Acceptance.

Good theme to take on the A to Z challenge. Looking forward to the rest of the alphabets through this month.

Sarah Vamshi said...

Loved every bit of your writing Chicky. When we appreciate the way others are accepting us for all that we are, we sure can accept others.

@SarahVamshi from
The Tin Trunk

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Jayanthi :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rightly said, Sarah! It becomes easier to reciprocate! Thank you for dropping by! :)

Ravyne said...

Wonderful post! In 2014, I chose Acceptance as my word for the year. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but by the end of that year, I had made some major changes in my life through accepting myself and my circumstances. Enjoyed this!
Best Wishes!
Lori

My A2Zs @ As the Fates Would Have It & Promptly Written
Follow Me (Ravyne) Twitter|Facebook

Chicky Kadambari said...

That's an interesting approach, Lori! Focusing on changing just ONE personality trait in a year.
Thank you for stopping by! :)

Menaka Bharathi said...

Truly wonderful Kadambari!I chose organic lifestyle for my posts and have just begun posting!

Ramya Abhinand said...

That's my word too for A. acceptance does bring in happiness, as we stop judging and having expectations from oneself and from others

Arlee Bird said...

I try my best to just accept people and trust what they say along with a bit of reasonable discernment on my part. Some have called me "oblivious" but at bit of obliviousness helps me deal with a lot in my life.


Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out

Chicky Kadambari said...

That's awesome, Menaka. Will hop over soon.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly, Ramya. And we can focus on just being who we are.

Vidya Sury said...

A wonderful beginning to the AtoZ challenge, Chicky. When we are realistic about our expectations and accept things for how they are, life is certainly better. Looking forward to your A to Z of Happiness! Thank you for coming by my post today!

Suzy said...

Seems acceptance is a popular word for the challenge. Life becomes simpler with acceptance of self and circumstances. But a tough thing to do constantly.
Suzy at Someday Somewhere Letter A

Shilpa Garg said...

We are all the products of our own individual upbringing and experiences so it is completely natural that our views and opinions would be different from others. Accepting ourselves and accepting others as they are, seeing things from their perspective, letting go is what helps us co-exist peacefully with others and it’s best for our own sanity too.

bellybytes said...

This is the second post on Acceptance I read this morning... yes we all do need to accept so many things in this age of increasing intolerance

Chicky Kadambari said...

Arlee, a little bit of "obliviousness" is exactly what we need for cultivating acceptance! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Vidya. Life surely does get better.

Chicky Kadambari said...

True Suzy. It does require practice, I suppose.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rightly said, Shilpa. And regardless of our experiences and circumstances, I think we all crave for acceptance.

Chicky Kadambari said...

@bellybytes: I found 3 including mine! :D

the little princess said...

I remember reading this and agree to it now as much as i did then!
Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

Swathi Shenoy said...

Acceptance instead of expectations leads to happiness. Loved your thoughts.

Arts of Different Form

Rajlakshmi said...

Absolutely!! Acceptance is important if we want peace of mind... acceptance of our capabilities and to accept others as well. Beautiful thoughts on the first day of A to Z challenge.

Tina Basu said...

Self-acceptance is a virtue - it's difficult but its good. Great start to a to z

Sanch Writes said...

Acceptance is certainly one of the first steps to happiness...sadly, most of us don't do that and are waiting for the perfect moment. Great start Chicky! Looking forward to the rest of the month.

Sanch @ Sanch Writes

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you for reading this again, Princess!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Swathi.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Peace of mind for sure, Raji!

Chicky Kadambari said...

It sure is, Tina. Thank you. Just hopping over to your post for today.

Geetika Gupta said...

It took so long for me to accept certain things in life and I finally did and nothing was more relieving than that!

Cheers
BoisterousBee

Chicky Kadambari said...

We don't, Sanch... and that creates half of our problems! (I speak from experience! Sighhh!)

Chicky Kadambari said...

I'm still working on acceptance of some things, Geets. Hopefully, it will happen soon.

Cathy Graham said...

This is great, Chicky. Good reminders about acceptance in all its forms. I read this after Suzy's blog and hers had a similar theme going so it's really reinforced with me today. Thank you! I was reminded of a cute quote from the wonderful movie about the pig "Babe" where the cow says about acceptance that "We have to accept that the way things are are the way things are." I always remember that and try not to get too upset if it doesn't go the way I want it to, which often it doesn't. I think as we age, we learn acceptance so much more.

Chicky Kadambari said...

That's a quote worth remembering, Cathy. And you are right... we DO learn acceptance as we grow older! Maybe, we realize we don't have much time left to fret over things we can't control, eh? ;)

Vinodini Iyer said...

Quite a meaningful post. While I accept a lot of things as they are there are definitely times when I've wished for that something extra. Its human nature, I guess.

Bhavya N said...

Sometimes it takes a lifetime for people to accept themselves as they are. Lovely write on Acceptance :)

Sampada Raje said...

The world will be such a happy place then!! You are absolutely right we are prisoners of our own expectations of how things should be!!

InterfaceLeader said...

I enjoyed this post - acceptance is such a 'simple' concept, and so hard to put into practice.

The Unknown Journey Ahead said...

I still fight certain things in my life that I need to accept - and accept, at that, after many, many years. Caused myself and my husband both some grief today over that. I do know better.

Debbie D. said...

Wow - 98 comments! ☺ Yes, shit does happen and there's nothing we can do about it. I tend to briefly fume about it, just to clear my head. Bitching is cathartic! After that, time to find a solution or move on. Great words of wisdom here. Cheers!
Debbie @ THE DOGLADY'S DEN
Latest post: Azzurro: Going AWOL in Switzerland

Chicky Kadambari said...

True that, Vinodini... it is human nature.

Chicky Kadambari said...

And sometimes, even a lifetime is not enough! Thanks for dropping by, Bhavya!

Chicky Kadambari said...

And we don't even realize this, Sampada!

Chicky Kadambari said...

It really is difficult to put in practice, at least all of the time. Thank you for visiting, InterfaceLeader.

Chicky Kadambari said...

@ The Unknown Journey Ahead: Oh I know. It's too easy to slip up!

Chicky Kadambari said...

LOL @ "Bitching is cathartic!" :D :D :D
And the number of comments... well, I originally posted this last year. So 2 years' worth of comments! :P
Thanks for dropping by, Debbie. Happy AtoZing!

Anjali Krishna said...

I must thank you for writing this. Acceptance is something I need to work on, considering I'm a major control freak. I need to accept my flaws, and begin loving myself a little more which is why I have chosen to blog about the stuff that makes me happy.

I look forward to reading your posts.

Cheers,
Anjali
https://akprowling.wordpress.com/2017/04/01/a-is-for-airplanes/

CRD said...

Acceptance helps you move on faster and to let go of regret, remorse and anger. When you realise that no one owes you anything in the world, you tend to start accepting things the way they are. That helps you stay on the move, and also prevents you from wallowing in self-pity.

All the best for the A to Z Challenge 2017.

Do drop by mine. I blog at www.scriptedinsanity.blogspot.in

P.S. - Somehow I get this feeling that I've visited your blog before. The name miss_teerious sounds familiar..or maybe that image on the pumpkin with the hat. Reminds me of a blogger whose stuff I loved reading named 'Miss Kido'. She did humour though.

Cheers,
CRD

Chicky Kadambari said...

You've chosen a great theme, Anjali. Thank you for visiting me. Hope to interact with you more during this AtoZ.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rightly said, CRD. Well, I've been around in this blogosphere as miss_teerious for over 10 years. So maybe you've seen my id in the comment section of a mutual blog buddy! I don't know about Miss Kido though. Never came across that name in my decade of blogging. Thank you for visiting. You have a great A to Z too!

Nibha said...

Very important words there! I wish it was so easy to implement especially during the rough time Life offers us at times!

Ranveer vishal said...

A brilliant post on acceptance. It took me a long time to view myself as I am and setting my own standard rather than living up to others expectations. The world doesn't and shouldn't matter. Period.

Chicky Kadambari said...

True, Nibha. Thank you for dropping by!

Random Musings said...

I totally agree about accepting ourselves and others. Not so sure about accepting circumstances though - I believe if we don't like something, we should change it :)
Debbie

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hi Debbie. I don't know about that. In my experience, change begins only after I have accepted my current situation. Besides, a lot of times, there is nothing we can do to change our circumstances. Thank you for dropping by. Happing AtoZing! :)

Sreesha Divakaran said...

Whenever I find myself wishing things were different, I follow something called a one-month rule. How do I feel about the situation in a month? Can I accept it? If not, what am I doing to change it? Can I accept the changes and will life be better after that?
Acceptance is such a simple thing - all the peace of mind we need is associated with it!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Sreesha, that sounds like a sensible strategy. Will give it a try. Thanks for dropping by. :)

J Lenni Dorner said...

So very true! It is our minds that hold us back the most.
Great post.
J -- Co-host the #AtoZchallenge, Debut Author Interviewer, Reference and Speculative Fiction Writer
2017 THEME = Speculative fiction story featuring telepathy.
http://jlennidornerblog.what-are-they.com

Chicky Kadambari said...

True J. As they say, you have to do it twice... first in your mind, then in real!
Thank you for visiting!

Chicky Kadambari said...

True Ranveer, living up to others expectations is probably the worst way we could spend our life! It is always better to set our own standards for us.
Thank you for dropping by! Happy AtoZing!

roj said...

oh that's an achievement of completing and publishing this challenge.
Regarding Acceptance..i do accept sometimes and sometimes not. depends

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, roj. Yes, it does vary, doesn't it?

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