What are your values?
If I were to ask this question today on my Facebook wall, majority of the answers will either be vague, or they'll be generic traits that are considered desirable in the section of society where that particular respondent belongs.
It is true. Our societal and familial backgrounds do shape our values to certain extent, but not completely. The reality is, that most of us blindly do whatever our parents tell us, or the society expects from us. We never even bother to stop and think about what WE want in life, what are OUR priorities, what inspires us and what doesn't.
And that's where our unhappiness begins.
How Do Values Affect Our Happiness?
They Give Purpose To Our Life.
Our personal values are the driving force in our life. They are a central part of who we are. They define what's important to us. They define us. They could be anything... family, career, ambition, service, honesty, reliability, punctuality, independence, selflessness... there are dozens of values, and any number of them could be important to us.
All of us have our own set of personal values. For example, my Dad could have some values, but the values that drive me could be different from his. And if I try to live my life according to his values, I will never be happy.
That is why, we use our values to identify what is right or wrong... for US. We use them to identify our priorities. We use them to understand what we want from life. They are the guidelines based on which we take decisions in life. When we face multiple options in life, our values point us in the right direction.
Whether we recognize them or not, they continue to mold us and our life. They give us goals, and they give us the INSPIRATION (Covered under 'I') to achieve those goals.
They Remove Clutter From Our Life.
Mahatma Gandhi said - "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
When our words and actions are in sync with our personal values, we are content. When our life is in direct conflict with our values, we experience feelings of frustration, guilt, confusion, discontentment, and even anger or resentment, if those conflicting decisions have been forced upon us. In short, we become unhappy.
For example, if you are a family oriented person, but you're in a job that frequently requires overtime, you will always be stressed. If you value honesty, and you're in a sales job where you have to constantly bend the truth to meet your targets, you will never be satisfied with your job. If you are an ambitious career-oriented girl, forced to quit job to take care of family, you will eventually lose all your self worth and become very frustrated with your life.
That is why, it is important to acknowledge our values, and then make life choices that align with those values. Knowing our values helps in removing the unnecessary distractions from our life, things that do not add meaning to our life, things that deviate us from our life purpose. It helps in SIMPLIFYING (Covered under 'S') our life.
They Keep Us Going When The Going Gets Tough.
So many times in life, we face setbacks and disappointments. Everything seems to be going uphill for us. We lose focus of where we were going, and why we were going there anyway. We lose the urge to fight. We feel like quitting.
Remember this popular quote? "When you want to give up, remember why you started." - author unknown
Our values do that for us. They remind us why we started.
Whenever we come to a point in life where we find ourselves fumbling in the dark, we should stop for a moment and rethink about our values. If we have lost track of our goals somewhere along the way, reassessing our values will set us on the right path once again. And if we are on the right track, the sight of our goals ahead will encourage us to keep going.
Remembering our values in times of adversity, gives us the strength to overcome our challenges. It make us RESILIENT. (Covered under 'R'.)
When we know our values, we can make decisions with clarity and confidence. Some choices in life may seem difficult, but we are able to make them anyway, because they feel right... for US. Remaining true to our values gives us a sense of integrity. It gives us a reason to be happy.
Do you ever feel restless and frustrated, but you can't put a finger on why? Do you ever feel "scattered" in all directions at once? Or that you have a little too much on your plate? How do you sort things through then? Do you know what your personal values are?
This is my 22nd post for A to Z of Happiness.
I have completed this challenge once before, and published it as a kindle ebook. You can get it on amazon: A to Z of Blogging: Take Your Blog To the Next Level.
