Friday, April 1, 2016

A to Z of Happiness: A - Acceptance #atozchallenge @AprilA2Z

Most of us have so many expectations from and pre-conceived notions about life and everything in it, that we spend all our waking hours measuring the gap between how things "SHOULD BE" and how they actually "ARE".



But happiness begins with acceptance.

Acceptance of what?

Acceptance of self.

We have created this image of a perfect "self" in our mind, and we keep trying to live up to it. That perfect self is naturally neither too fat, nor too thin. It is not too dark or too short either, and it has the perfect set of eyes, nose, lips, and a perfectly toned body as well.

We then set restrictions upon ourselves, based on that perfect image. "Don't wear shorts if you don't have slender legs. Hide your body if you're fat. You must be a good cook if you are a woman. Don't get married if you're a man who isn't earning such-and-such amount of money every year."

All these restrictions are prisons WE lock ourselves into! We need to set ourselves free. We need to accept ourselves as we are. If we don't accept ourselves, nobody else will either.

Acceptance of other people.

Acceptance of self is the first step in acceptance of others. And we all know too well - people can be really self-centered and hurtful, whether intentionally or unintentionally!

Sometimes they lie without blinking an eye. Sometimes they drop by at our house uninvited and without calling. Sometimes they use us for their selfish gains and totally forget about us when their work is done. Sometimes they are just so mean and hurtful that we feel like wringing their neck! Sometimes, they are just harmless little annoying pests with an OCD for cleanliness.

We need to just let them be whoever they choose to be in that moment. We cannot change them anyway. So why raise our blood pressure? We should just accept them and find a workaround.

Acceptance of circumstances in life.

If things can go wrong, they will. Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.

Lost a job because of the economic meltdown? Gastritis won't go away? Ex got married to someone else? Pet dog died before you could take him on a trip to the mountains?

Face it. Shit happens. And more shit is just waiting to happen. If we try to stop it from happening, then a different shit will happen, but it will happen nonetheless. Best to just accept it, let go of stuff we can't have, and move on.


Most of us spend our entire life wishing we were different or the people around us were different or even that our whole life was different from what it currently is! We set benchmarks and we remain unhappy because the reality is nowhere close to those benchmarks. We keep wishing for things to change so that we can be happy, and we don't realize that we need to simply accept them the way they are, in order to be truly happy.

Do you accept things the way they are? Do you wish certain things were different? About you? About others? About your life? Does wishing so make you feel better?


This is my first post for 2016 AprilAtoZ.
What is April A to Z?
My kindle eBook on A to Z of Blogging: Take Your Blog To the Next Level.


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70 comments:

Kala Ravi said...

Mighty words, dear friend. Acceptance is half the battle won in any problem! Glad you decided to be a part of this! Cheers and smiles :)
@KalaRavi16 from
Relax-N-Rave

Shilpa Garg said...

Oh yes, accepting yourself and others the way they are does wonders for our own sanity and peace of mind too. And accepting circumstances is the best way to move ahead. Cribbing, crying will not take us anywhere. Good to see you participating in the challenge. I know, you can do it! :)

Ls said...

Very true.. we can save a lot of war by just accepting people different from us.

bellybytes said...

That's great advice. Too often we depend on others to make ourselves happy.

You are right about accepting ourselves and our lives the way they are. Why should we depend on others' validation to feel happy?

BellyBytes from
Mumbai On A High

Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

Definitely a post worth sharing and saving (saved on Pinterest). I have a feeling all your posts are gonna be saved on my Pinterest "Blog Posts I like" folder :D

My entry for the #AtoZChallenge -
Tv Shows: A - Agents of SHIELD

Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

I think it's natural to wish certain things were different, it's when you cannot see what you have through all the wishing that problems happen. There are certain things in life that must be accepted and that can sometimes be hard, but rewarding.
Tasha
Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

Sheethal Susan Jacob said...

One of the most difficult thing in life is to accept yourself and our situations. Once we are in syn with ourselves and our life, guess life will be more beautiful and happy. :)

All the best for April! Great start.

Dahlia said...

Hi Chicky - truly acceptance is very important for all of us to be able to move on especially with our peace of mind and sanity intact. Great start - look forward to reading more
@mysilverstreaks from
Storiesandmore

Mars said...

Great advice and I love the quote from John Lennon from your theme reveal!

Very timely advice for me this morning about accepting other people as they are, love the A to Z Challenge for these moments of synchronicity

@TrollbeadBlog from
Curling Stones for Lego People

Mithila Menezes said...

Acceptance of other people is super-important. It makes living life less stressful and easier! :)
Hope you had a great first day in the challenge. Good luck :)

Daisy Willows said...

Love this. You now have me - your new follower xx a great and empowering post. @Daisy from
Daisyinthe willows

Rajlakshmi said...

It's only when we accept are we able to take steps to alleviate the problem. Well that's what I believe. :) Loved your thoughts. Glad you too are taking part :D

Visiting from A to Z Challenge
Pam's Unconventional Alliance Team
A Whimsical Medley
Twinkle Eyed Traveller

Debs Carey said...

Great start to a lovely theme. Looking forward to reading more throughout the month.

Debs Carey
@debscaringcoach
www.bunnyandthebloke.com
www.caringcoaching.co.uk"

Ruchi Singh said...

Lovely subject, so necessary in today's world. Great start. Happy A to Z.

My blog: www.iluvfiction.com

Parul said...

Happiness begins with oneself and not possible unless we accept ourselves first. Then of course others and our circumstances. Most of the problems in life happen cos we don't want to see ourself as we are or others as they are and then we are always trying to change our circumstances. Great post.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Love it. Excellent post. The more I try to control everything, the worse everything gets.
The Really Real Housewives

Monica Deshpande said...

A great post on something that I really struggle with. I love the quote - it describes my condition perfectly. :)

Scarlett Braden said...

Very well said. Life is a much happier existence living in the now and only worrying about one's self. Enjoy the challenge!
@ScarlettBraden from
Frankly Scarlett

Inderpreet Kaur said...

I agree, such wise thoughts, acceptance is the beginning.
your tweet has an @ missing in front of your twitter handle, do check fix it.

*Inderpreet/EloquentArticulation*

Nibhz said...

Perfect start for the daily dose of happiness. I'm coming here daily. Thanks for reminding me of Acceptance!

Nibha @ Expressions
Arriving Late

taleoftwotomatoes said...

Wow! I'm saving this. Loved the write and I will definitely come back for more!

*Shalini @ Something's Cooking

*Read Army Wife Tales @ TaleofTwoTomatoes

Amy Putkonen said...

Hi Chicky! This is a nice word to start us off! See you in the challenge!

G Angela David said...

very true ! accepting one self as you are is very important. It makes one comfortable and also helps you feel at home, without having to pretend and mask. Accepting others happen only when you are ready to accept yourself without any conditions.... nice to read and thanks for sharing !

the little princess said...

Such a beautiful post Chicky! I just needed to read this! I have a feeling another book is in the making after this challenge!

Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

Aathira said...

Unless we accept circumstances and life as it is, I don't think finding peace will be an easy task. One should embrace imperfections as well because that is what makes us who we are.

holli said...

Hi, very good post about acceptance. Its so hard NOT to be hard on ourselves and accept body changes, etc.
Stopping by from the A to Z challenge. Have a great day, Holli

Tracy S said...

Great topic! I'm not sure which is hard: acceptance of self, or acceptance of others. It is so easy to judge others without knowing what they are going through, and it is so easy to judge yourself because you know all of your "faults" so personally.

I am working on accepting myself and accepting others. Sometimes it is more of a challenge than others, but as long as I keep moving along, I'm happy :)

Tracy (Black Boots, Long Legs)

Debbie D. said...

Oh yes, shit definitely happens! The "Serenity Prayer" definitely comes to mind here. ☺ I love this: "Just accept them and find a workaround." That goes a long way towards inner peace. Great start to the challenge, Chicky!

Gypsy Momma said...

Truly accepting yourself is in my opinion the second hardest thing. Forgiving ourselves is the hardest. Like it or not, we our our own greatest critics. I have found however that living consciously is the only way to beat that inner critic. Lovely post.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Kala! I'm glad too! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Shilpa! Yes, acceptance is the only way forward in life!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, Lata!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly, BellyBytes! If we accept ourselves, then others will automatically lose their power over us with their remarks.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Roshan! :D And I'll end up with a huuuuuge list of TV shows to download! :P

Chicky Kadambari said...

Yes Tasha. As the prayer goes - "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Chicky Kadambari said...

Being in sync is the keyword, Sheethal. Rightly put!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Dahlia. I'm looking forward to your posts too! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks you, Mars! We meet again on yet another A to Z! Oh yes, such moments of synchronicity are so common this month!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Less stressful indeed, Mithila! I did! Thanks for asking! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Daisy!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Raji! I almost didn't. So I'm glad too now that I rejoined! :P

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Debs. See you around!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Ruchi!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Parul! Yes, that's true!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, Elizabeth! Happens with me too! That is why I have to learn not to strategize all the time!

Chicky Kadambari said...

I struggle with it too at times, Monica. I think it's one of our so-called human weaknesses.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Scarlett. 'Now' is good enough, right?

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Indy!
Na na, it is not missing just the '@'! It is missing my entire twitter handle! That '~miss_teerious' is part of my post title! :(

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Nibhz! See you around! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thanks Shalini!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Amy! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, G Angela! No need for any masks after self acceptance! Thank you for such lovely words! And thanks a lot for dropping by! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hahaha! Let's see, Princess! Depends on whether I complete this round.

Chicky Kadambari said...

You're right, Aathira... finding peace will be impossible!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, it definitely is hard, Holli! Thank you for stopping by!

Chicky Kadambari said...

I find acceptance of self more difficult, Tracy. That's probably because I value relationships so much that I'm willing to give people second chances and to overlook their imperfections. I find it difficult to do the same for me though. But we keep trying, as you said. Right?
Thank you for stopping by to leave such a meaningful comment on my post! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

Hey Debbie! I didn't know the Serenity Prayer, so I just googled it! And it is the same one that I just wrote above to Tasha! :D
Thanks for dropping by! :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

I totally agree, Gypsy Momma! Forgiving ourselves is the hardest! I've been there!
Thank you for the lovely words! Take care...

Vidya Sury said...

Acceptance - easier said than done. I think life's experiences take us closer to acceptance, and this happens over time. Luckily it happens faster as we live longer. Great choice for A, Chicky!

Patricia Lynne said...

That is an excellent quote. Once we realize that life doesn't always match what's in our head, I think we can accept the challenges thrown at us better.

~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
Story Dam
Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

Rachel said...

that's very true. I know I do, I get frustrated with the world often of not seeming to work up to my standards or seem to understand the principles I do. I guess in some ways I am selfish like that. I guess I always fear if I just accept it I'll be some sort of push over and I definitely don't want to be taken advantage of.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Oh yes, I completely agree. Acceptance becomes easier as we grow older. Thank you, Vidya! :)

Chicky Kadambari said...

True Patricia. Dealing with life becomes easier if we accept things as they are. Thank you!

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rachel, I wouldn't call it being selfish. I think it's more to do with being too independent and in control of things at all time. Or maybe we've had bad experiences in the past, which we don't want to repeat. I think we just need to be mindful and try our best. Thank you for sharing your story! :)

Jayanthi Gopal said...


Nice post on Acceptance.

Good theme to take on the A to Z challenge. Looking forward to the rest of the alphabets through this month.

Sarah Vamshi said...

Loved every bit of your writing Chicky. When we appreciate the way others are accepting us for all that we are, we sure can accept others.

@SarahVamshi from
The Tin Trunk

Chicky Kadambari said...

Thank you, Jayanthi :D

Chicky Kadambari said...

Rightly said, Sarah! It becomes easier to reciprocate! Thank you for dropping by! :)

Ravyne said...

Wonderful post! In 2014, I chose Acceptance as my word for the year. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but by the end of that year, I had made some major changes in my life through accepting myself and my circumstances. Enjoyed this!
Best Wishes!
Lori

My A2Zs @ As the Fates Would Have It & Promptly Written
Follow Me (Ravyne) Twitter|Facebook

Chicky Kadambari said...

That's an interesting approach, Lori! Focusing on changing just ONE personality trait in a year.
Thank you for stopping by! :)

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