Monday, February 22, 2016

Regrets

There are times when we fall into the trap of "regret". We start traveling along the course of "what if".

What if I had done this instead of that?
What if I had never left that job?
What if I'd refused to do such-and-such thing 20 years ago?
What if I'd never got involved with that person?

The list of "what if-s" can be endless.

Off late, I was going through a similar list. And it had become like a sort of endless loop. Until I finally realized something...



When I looked back at WHY I did whatever I was having second thoughts about now, I realized I did them all out of love. Every single one of those things. And if I were to re-live my past, I would do them all over again. Yes. I would do them all over again.

That's when I realized there really was no reason for me to have regrets.

When you make choices that are based on love, you will never regret making them. But when you act out of fear or under pressure, when you allow yourself to be manipulated by someone else's will, those are the only decisions that you will eventually come to regret. And quite reasonably so.

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24 comments:

Ranveer vishal said...

I did suffer from such regret pang but makes me wonder was it worth!! Enjoyed reading your take.

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

Hindsight is a cruel prism to look at the past through. Let's learn to forgive ourselves. We forgive others easily enough. Maybe it's because we hold ourselves to a higher standard than we do others.

Chicky said...

@Ranveer: You're having regrets about having regrets? :P

Chicky said...

True that, Abhiroop. You made valid points.

Rajlakshmi said...

I don't have many regrets... Probably the only regret I have is hogging KFC chicken regularly 4-5 years back. Still can't get rid of it :)
Loved the ending... that's very true.

Nisha Sanjeev said...

I beleive in doing the best and surrendering the outcome. that way I do not have regrets. because then I know whatever happened has happened for the best and time will reveal to me what it means. Stay happy Chicky!

tulika singh said...

You're right - regret is a deadly trap - there's no coming out of it. And it can pull you down into depression.

Chicky said...

Raji, you used to hog on KFC chicken? Really? Wow! The image just doesn't go with your current "yoga-girl" image!

Chicky said...

Thanks Nisha! Yes, that's a good outlook. We should always strive for our best. If we know in our heart that we did our best, then there's no room for regrets.

Chicky said...

Seriously, Tulika! It can pull you down like nothing else!

Pooja Mahimkar said...

At times regrets help you understand what exactly you wanted to do

Shilpa Garg said...

I so agree with the quote you shared. True, there should be no regrets. I dont regret about the setbacks / failures/ disappointments, rather than take them as learning experiences.

Eli Ert said...

Oh yes, those "what ifs"... Luckily as I have grown older they have been fewer - we can't change the past anyway, so best to let go and move on.. Great reminder:-)

meotherwise.com said...

Yeah!! most lives are always loaded withe regrets. And these thoughts pop up once in a way when one is in a sort of pensive mood. The ones mentally strong look ahead and brush them off, but many brood over them!

Geets said...

It happens with all of us and all of us know that there is no point thinking about them and yet we do! I sometimes wonder, what if if I had started my career a bit earlier, what if I'd got married a little late, what if I had chose to do things I wanted without thinking about the people around.. and the list is endless!!
But sometimes pondering over them is good :)

Cheers

Chicky said...

That is very true, Pooja. It sure did help me figure out what I had wanted back then.

Chicky said...

Oh yes, Shilpa! They make the best learning experiences!

Chicky said...

You're right, Eli. They DO get fewer as we grow older... and wiser.

Chicky said...

@meotherwise: Yes, we do tend to brood over the past when we are already in a sorry state of mind, and it just makes matters worse.

Chicky said...

Yes, Geets! Like Pooja said, it helps us figure out what we really wanted at a particular time in our past.

Parul said...

Lovely post and you are right. If life's choices are made out o love, we would not have regrets. I don't have many in life cos I believe what ever happens, happens for a reason. There are times when we fret over things but they also mean something later in life.

Chicky said...

Thanks, Parul. Yes, fretting over stuff usually means there's something to be learned from it.

Red Handed said...

So very true. It's the risks we don't take and things we didn't say coz of fear that eventually haunts us.

Chicky Kadambari said...

Exactly, Red Handed. The road filled with "what ifs" is a long road indeed.
Thank you for dropping by.

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