Thursday, May 21, 2015

Breaking the Indian "Puppet" Mentality!

Did you know that Dharmendra and Hema Malini changed their religion just so that they could be legally married to each other?

I didn't. I only found out about it yesterday!

"Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!" Right? :P

Well, I'm not going to judge here whether what they did was right or wrong. In fact, I don't even know what right or wrong really is.

Besides, what might be right for me might not be acceptable to somebody else, and what might be right for someone else might just destroy my life!

So without getting too deep into right and wrong, all I want to say is that I'm simply amazed at the guts these guys showed, to live their life the way THEY wanted to!



And to think that they took this bold step so many decades ago... when even today, despite all this so-called "globalization", influence of social-media, and foreign education too at times, most of the people I see around me are simply "puppets"--of their parents and of the society!

They have no control over their lives. They cannot decide what subjects to study in school. Most of them cannot take up a career of their own choice. Choosing their own life partner is still a rarity in India, and usually involves a lot of struggle.

Oh, but even after marriage, the "strings" are not cut off! They cannot decide for themselves when to have kids, how many kids to have, and even what gender of kids to have!

Yupp! You read that right. I personally know someone (know her very well, in fact) who was "forced" to abort her second child because the "tests" showed that it was going to be a female and the "grandparents" didn't want "another grand-daughter"!

I wonder when we Indians will stop living in bondage and learn to take our lives & our destinies in our own hands.

I wonder when we will REALLY become independent. All of us. Not just "freak examples" like the couple above.


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14 comments:

Laurel Regan said...

I don't know anything about these specific people, but I totally agree that we shouldn't live life to please others, or wait for instructions from others before making any decisions. We need to be real, not puppets! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Mithila Menezes said...

It's the same thing in the Education sector too.. Forced to study molecular reactions when one just wants to watch butterflies fly around the sky!

Chicky said...

Totally agree with you, Laurel! Thanks for sharing your views :)

Chicky said...

Molecular reactions instead of butterflies? That's outrageous, Mithila!

Parul said...

Great post and I totally agree with you! When will we be "Independent" in the truest sense? A thought provoking post!
I wrote this post during this year A to Z - not sure if you had a chance to read. Do read when you get time - https://happinessandfood.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/m-for-marriage/

Chicky said...

To be honest Parul, I don't think I will live to see that day!
Just hopping over to check out your post...

Harini said...

I knew that they changed their religion to get married and they received a lot of slack for that. My maasi told me that Dharmendra had cheated on his wife and so on. But anyways, I do agree with you that even though we Indians would like to believe that we are very broad minded in reality many of us aren't.

Sanch LivingLife said...

Great post...totally agree with you that even in this day and age, many Indians do what is expected so as to not rock the boat. It's a pretty sad life to live that way...

Soumya said...

That story about your friend. Seriously? Give me her contacts I shall have her arrested.

More than children relying on their parents, it is about parents wanting their children to be their puppets. I have seen this up, close and personal recently. Since they gave birth to their children, they want to have a say in every point of their lives. Not only a say, they want their children to follow it as well. No matter how wrong they are.

Parents need to trust their children and let them be. Trying to life their failed ambitions through their children is something that is absolutely not right.

When the so called puppet masters take rest, there will be no puppets as well.

Rachna said...

I think complete independence or living without caring for others' wishes is impossible. As far as Hema and Dharmendra are concerned, they converted on paper so that Dharmendra could enter into a second marriage. I wonder what made Hema accept that marital status of a second wife? Anyhow, their lives. I agree with your larger point. We need to learn to give and take space.

Chicky said...

True, Harini. I've seen some of the most conservative mentalities hidden behind an outward show of modernization and globalization.

Chicky said...

Sanch, you should thank your lucky stars that you got away from all this shit!

Chicky said...

Exactly, Soumya, and these parents will resort to any lengths and any tactics to get their kids to remain their puppets... the most popular being emotional blackmail!

"Parents need to trust their children and let them be." You took the words out of my mouth. If parents don't let their children grow up, they never will grow up. Period.

Chicky said...

That's true, Rachna. That's why I said I'll not go into the "right or wrong" of their specific scenario. But you got the point I was trying to make, and that's what matters. We really do need to live our own lives and stop letting others live it for us.

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