Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Two Peas In A Pod... Or Not

Day 9 of "2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge" : Two Peas In A Pod... Or Not


This post is inspired by Kaneenika's recent post (http://over-cup-of-tea.blogspot.com/2013/07/ubc-4-compatibility-factor.html) on compatibility factor in relationships. While hers is specific to man-woman relationships, I'll share my views in a broader sense... i.e. for all kinds of relationships.



So do we really need to have common likes and dislikes for a relationship to blossom and grow strong?

To some extent, yes. I mean, it would be great if you could have animated conversations with each other, about topics of mutual interest. At the end of the day, though, what's more important is, as Kaneenika says in her post, to know and understand each other's likes and dislikes, irrespective of whether you like the same things or not.

For example, back in the late 90s, my sister was absolutely crazy about Shahrukh, Salman and Bobby Deol (complete with his long French-poodle hair!), while I only had space for Aamir Khan in my "celebrity-crush" zone! I religiously continued to pull her leg about the 3 actors, never let go of any opportunity for teasing her! Yet, I was the one who bought posters for her, of those same 3 actors, during my college-bunking sprees!

She behaves in quite the same way with me (minus the "teasing", of course, as she's younger). I'm so fond of food. I love those Monginis cakes. She hardly ever touches them. Still, she buys them for me every time she comes over, and tosses them to me saying "Ye lo tumhara kooda-kachra!" (Here's the crap you're so fond of!)

In short, what I'm trying to say is that *that feeling* is more important for any relationship... that you care enough for each other to remember what each other likes and dislikes... than having common likes.

That and how much that relationship matters to you. If it doesn't, then any tiny excuse will be enough of a reason for you to part ways. But if it does mean something to you, then you'll simply overlook little stuff, avoid doing things that the other person is sensitive about, and go out of your way to do things that the other person particularly cares about.

After all, a relationship is only as good as how much you're willing to invest in it. So, just like business ventures, choose your relationships also carefully, and then invest into them whatever you've got. Don't hold back anything. And don't just sit back and expect things to become perfect on their own. Remember: it takes two to tango.


This is my ninth post for 2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge.
Link to the previous post: "When Heavens Turn Gray"

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14 comments:

Kaneenika Sinha said...

Thanks so much for writing about this. It is indeed all about how important a relationship is to you. My brother and I are are completely different people. I like to read philosophy books, while he believes that such books should be read post retirement. However, whenever he goes to a book store, he makes a visit to the philosophy section and calls me up to find out if I want something specific.

Love it when you say " invest into them whatever you've got. Don't hold back anything. And don't just sit back and expect things to become perfect on their own."

Shilpa Garg said...

Loved what you have shared. Even though you may differ in likes, tastes etc the important thing is to respect each other. And also you need to invest in a relationship and both have to work on it to make it work.

Gayu said...

Wonderful post Kaadu. especially the last para. Its so true and I agree to it completely. We all are unique, with different thinking styles and thoughts and likes. Yet when we are in a relationship, we tend to remember the little things that matter to each other :)

A heart warming post!!

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

Kitna bada message, kitna simple expression. Also, please stop kachumbering me in front of other people. Nobody need have known that you nearly tossed me out of your 7th floor balcony. Character assassination of the worst kind. I will do chintan and I will do kadi ninda. I can also say that you, insensitive bully that you are, snatched away my plate when I innocently begged for a 9th helping of aloo jhol. But I don't, do I?

Smita said...

Totally with you on this. I know people who are so hell bent on changing others as per their wishes that they stop enjoying the relationship.

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Thanks Kaneenika! You're the inspiration for this post! :D
LOL @ your brother's views on philosophy books! Siblings are quite something, aren't they?

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Thank you, Shilpa! :D

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

So true, Gayu! We even remember the things about each other that usually irritate us! :P
Thanks for appreciating the post :)

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Hahahahahaha! OB, you are assassinating your own character by leaving comments like this! Btw, 'assassination' always reminds me of how we learnt its spelling... "gadha, uske upar ek aur gadha, uske upar main, uske upar desh"! :P

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

That is true, Smita... and it totally destroys the relationship in the process, or the other person who is forced to change.

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

hee hee

the little princess said...

that's the relationship I share with my sister..we are as different as the proverbial chalk and cheese, we have never agreed on anything...im more filmy and melodramatic while she's very practical, but inspite of all differences, i cannot just do without her and vice versa....

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

OB, are you trying to reply like a "gadha" now? :P

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

@ the little princess - "chalk and cheese"... BINGO!
[Nodding my head at every word you said]

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