Thursday, July 26, 2012

People Change

People usually change for two reasons, either they've learnt a lot, or they've been hurt a lot.

And then there are some who've done both. And they change so drastically that it's quite difficult to relate them with their former self!




Original photograph by http://www.flickr.com/photos/laurapollack/

So what exactly changes when we say we have changed or such-and-such-person has changed? Is it the way we think? The way we feel? What?

One of my close friends started this discussion on chat recently. I think, more than our thoughts and feelings, it's our responses that actually change. The way we react/ respond to our experiences.


  • Some of us become tougher. We either learn to close our energy fields in stressful situations, or we develop an emotional shield to keep those sharp arrows off us. That's probably a good thing, except that, if overdone, it can make us quite unapproachable. It is important to show our softer sides too once in a while, at least to the people who really care for us.

  • Some become more self dependent. We just stop involving other people in our plans. We learn to work completely solo and rely on nobody except our self. Again, that's usually a good thing to some degree, but on the extreme, it can turn us into individual islands, cut off from everything around us. Being able to ask for help is as important as being able to look after oneself.

  • Some people become cynical. When we've been hurt too many times, we simply stop trusting. I'm not really sure if that's good or bad in today's times. Human nature has deteriorated over the last decade. People have become more selfish, materialistic & insensitive to others. It would be quite foolish to be trusting of everyone today. But blanket cynicism? Surely that would do more harm than good, in the long run, won't it? Well I'm not really sure in today's times.

  • Then there are some people who become bitter. I can offer no tips in dealing with such people. They over-react to the slightest provocation. You never know what they'll bite your head off for! They're just too over-sensitive, especially around people who "seem" content with life, or those who "seem" to have what they lack. Due to their distorted perspectives, they fail to see that those "seemingly content" people also have problems in life; it's just that they have chosen to smile despite them.

  • And some people actually become more compassionate. They realize that there is a lot of hurt & suffering in this world. They learn that practically everybody on this planet is dealing with some kind of problem or the other -- be it health or financial or anything else. They learn to see the struggle and pain behind all the smiling faces. And they become compassionate. They're able to forgive even those who've been bitter & unkind to them at any point of time.

Naturally, some people also become a combination of the above, although compassion is a rare quality. Very few people are able to go beyond the boundaries of "I, me and myself" and see others... actually "see" them, you know, and not merely register their physical presence with their visual faculties. Anyway, these are all natural phases of change, I suppose. I'm sure most of us go through them some time or the other in life.

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8 comments:

Roshmi Sinha said...

Nice read. As for moi, having read the Bhagavad Gita quite early in life, yours truly has somehow managed not to get affected too much, and nor am I cynical :)

PS: I still read this gem of a book whenever I can :)

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

so well expressed..

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

@ROshmi: Bhagvad Gita is a masterpiece!

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

@OB: Thanks :D

Roshmi Sinha said...

Beyond masterpiece! Such illumined knowledge...

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

I agree

Jennifer RS said...

I agree to everything you said and seen every kind of person you mentioned!

You dissected all of the aspects soo well!!!

www.the-butterfly-effects.blogspot.com

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Thanks for the visit Jennifer! :)

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