Thursday, April 26, 2012

Do You Have A "Pink Kurti"?

I once had this pretty pink kurti, studded with tiny glittering sequins all over the front. It was made of some really soft cotton fabric, and was extremely comfortable to wear, especially in summers. I used to love that kurti so much that I would wear it almost every other day! It was so comfy it felt almost like a second skin.

My Pink Kurti
Over the years, it lost its former shine... lost all those glittery sequins too. The color faded and became dull. But it became even more comfortable to wear. The feel of that kurti against my skin made me feel happy without any reason. It made me feel pretty from the inside, even though that kurti no longer had any of its own visual appeal. I used to sleep sounder and more peacefully wearing that kurti.

And then it started coming across at the seams. I diligently worked with a needle and thread and kept sewing it back up, first at one place, then another, then another… and still remained crazy about it. One day, I burnt a tiny hole in one corner while ironing. Sewed that up too, and continued wearing it day after day.

Finally, I dropped some undiluted liquid bleach on one corner (accidentally of course), and the pink was marked by a prominent white patch… a small one, but prominent, nevertheless. And it made me sooooooooo angry! At myself… at that stupid bleach… at that kurti (for being in the wrong place at the wrong time)… at the whole world basically! I was afraid that I would have to part with it finally… with my most favorite kurti in the whole world!

. . .

Some relationships are also like that, aren’t they? Like your favorite piece of clothing. No matter how old and tattered they become, you still feel comfortable in them like no other relationship. They may lose their original shine and glitter, and yet they feel like the most beautiful thing in your life. They make YOU feel beautiful. And special. And safe. And loved. And they make your nights more peaceful, and your dreams more hopeful.

And every once in a while, you accidentally damage or stain or tear one of those relationships. It feels so painful. You feel angry with yourself. You wish you didn’t have to lose that relationship. You wish there was any way you could undo whatever you did. But there is no such way. You can NEVER undo your past. All you can do is make amends for your mistakes.

I had to sew the tears and the hole in my kurti by myself. I had to clean up all the stains that I’d made. The sooner I did that, the easier it was for me. As they say, a stitch in time saves nine. But one stitch or nine, it had to be done by me. That is the law of life. You make mistakes, and YOU learn how to make up for them. When you make dents in relationships that matter so much to you, then YOU have to figure out ways to repair them… whether it takes you one stitch or nine.

As for my pink partially-bleached kurti, I still couldn’t give up on it. I continued to wear it until Dad finally decided he’d had enough of it, and just ripped it up in shreds! Sighhhhh. Well, clothes are like that. Wear and tear leaves its mark on them. Fabrics aren’t meant to last forever, are they?

Thankfully, relationships aren’t like that though. Age doesn’t wear and tear relationships like fabrics. On the contrary, it makes them stronger. And every time you damage a relationship and then put in the effort to apologize and make up again, you actually add an extra layer of strength to that relationship, enabling it to withstand a bigger “earthquake” next time.

As a matter of fact, some of the toughest relationships I have seen in my life are the ones where the people involved were always fighting and then making up! Because in those relationships, they knew that it was okay to make mistakes, they knew how to say “sorry” and make amends for their mistakes, and they also knew how to forgive the mistakes.

Those relationships really make you feel comfortable like nothing else, because you don’t always “have to be at your best behavior” in them, you don’t feel constantly judged in them, and you’re free to make mistakes in them, as long as you’re ready to apologize and make up… regardless of whether it takes one stitch to mend, or nine…

So... do you have any such "pink kurti" you'd do anything to save?

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4 comments:

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

Some relationships are also like that, aren’t they? Like your favorite piece of clothing. No matter how old and tattered they become, you still feel comfortable in them like no other relationship. They may lose their original shine and glitter, and yet they feel like the most beautiful thing in your life. They make YOU feel beautiful. And special. And safe. And loved. And they make your nights more peaceful, and your dreams more hopeful.

hm. i likes.

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Me too! :P

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

My mum made a duster out of a favourite pair of shorts when I was 12. Should I forgive her now?

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

LOL! Plz do do! :)

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