Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tough Times And Us

Tough times in life are those "uninvited guests" who drop in at our doorstep whenever they feel like, without bothering to ask us if it's convenient for us to entertain them at that time or not. They then make themselves comfortable at our expense, and completely disrupt our life and everything in it!

The only saving grace, perhaps, is the fact that tough times are not permanent. Like all other things in life, they too pass. How we conduct ourselves, however, during such times, is totally a matter of individual choice.


Health crisis, financial crisis, relationship crisis, or (in my opinion, the worst of the lot) identity crisis... tough times can impose upon our lives in various forms. And it is totally up to us to decide whether we'll let them "break" us or "make" us.

I've been through a lot of tough times in my three decades in this world. I have seen a lot of other people too, going though tough times. And I have realized certain things:

1. Tough times are impartial.
They don't spare anyone. Rich or poor, slim or obese, married or single, adult or kid, male or female, employed or unemployed, perfectly healthy or chronically diseased... nobody is dealt a "perfect" hand in life. Everybody has "stuff" to deal with. Everybody goes through rough patches in life every now and then.

2. Tough times make us over sensitive.
For a long time after my mom died, all I could notice was girls doing wedding shopping with their moms, guys buying presents for their moms out of their salaries, and moms sending a whole lot of homemade goodies (pickles, laddoos etc.) for my colleagues. Same way, a diabetic person automatically notices only those things that he cannot eat, while someone who's had to bear the brunt of the economic recession suddenly becomes extremely sensitive about all money matters.

3. Tough times filter our social circle.
It's only during such testing times in life that we find out who really love us and care for us. There are many friends, relatives and acquaintances who are always around us when we are happily settled in life, but the moment we get stuck somewhere, they disappear as fast as my home-made chocolate cake!

4. Tough times can fill our life with love or hatred.
After my mom's death, I had two options. I could either bare my fangs of jealousy at all my friends and colleagues who still had their moms, alienating them from me in the process. Or I could be a part of that love and allow some of it to spill on me too. Same way, a person with paralyzed legs can either allow his near and dear ones to express their love for him by helping him around, or he can turn into an emotional cactus, stinging everyone with his pain. And a person going through a financial crisis can either bitch about and snap at all those who seem well off, or he can at least allow those who love him to walk beside him, providing their silent support to him.

Tough times show us how nasty people can be. But tough times also show us how beautifully good some people can be! 95 out of 100 friends/acquaintances may turn out to be selfish, but there WILL be those 5 who really care for us and pray for us if they can't do anything else to help us. We can either fill our hearts with bitterness towards those 95, or we can allow the love of those 5 to propel us forward in life. The choice is always ours.

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4 comments:

Aabha Midha said...

A gr8 post Chicky. Besides the insights you have shared about tough times i also discovered two thing about your personal life. Your age (oops!) and the tragic loss of your Mum.

Enjoyed reading the post.

Have you settled down in Jaipur?

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Hahahah! Abha, i'm actually 34 years old :-D and more or less settled here... Just waiting for the cold to subside :-P

Jidhu Jose said...

cool post ...sometimes i think , why i always have too much problems in my life and in my family.....but later i found that these problems make me strong than others.

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

That's true Jidhu. Tough times make us tough.

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