Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Master "Players"

WARNING: What follows ahead is a long emotional rant, again about men! You are free to skip it if you want to. And in case you choose to do so, rest assured that I will not come after you with my blood-thirsty axe!

. . .

Last few days I have been busy providing a “shoulder-to-cry-on” to a friend here. Why? Because of a man obviously! (Need you even ask?) Although I hate to call him a ‘man’ after what he did! Repeated “I love you”s for over a year… and in the end, a very masterful plan to break off… comprising of lies and scheming plots… carefully implemented over a span of 2-3 months. Heck! This guy even used his family in his devious game – his widowed mother and grandmother, and his poor sister in Delhi who has absolutely no idea of how his younger brother is playing with innocent unsuspecting girls!

The worst part in the whole setup was that the 2 of them were friends originally -- platonic friends for years! And HE was the one who proposed to take their relationship beyond friendship. Said he had ‘feelings’ for her! At a time when she was going through an especially bad phase in her life! He completely took advantage of her simplicity and faith in him as a friend, only to leave her more crushed than ever before!

I’m sure quite a few of my readers can relate to the kind of men... oops! *guys* I’m talking about here. In fact, some of you must be *exactly* like these guys! I don’t need to know whether you are or are not. So please don’t bother leaving any clarifications in your comments! All I want to say today is that guys like these are lower than the lowliest creatures inhabiting this planet! Their souls are almost dead… like Voldemort, if you need a comparison!

This particular fellow messed up the lives of 4 women, as we eventually discovered later on! But there are other even worse bastards! They keep on dating girl after girl after girl! With absolutely no qualms about how they may be messing up someone’s life! 20… 30… 40… even 100 unsuccessful relationships to their name! And they wear these numbers proudly, as feathers in their cap! And they truly believe they are some kind of super hero (“Alpha Male”) that they’ve managed to hook up with so many girls!

What an irrationally bloated ego!

In Mahabharata, Shishupal was spared 100 crimes by Lord Krishna… only because of his mother’s good Karma. He received this protection for 100 deathly sins only because his mother asked Krishna for this ‘blessing’. But the moment the 101st blasphemy came out of his mouth, Lord Krishna’s Sudarshan Chakra had taken off! So don’t ever fall into this false bubble of security that you’ll never have to face the consequences of your hideous acts! Remember: bubbles are meant to burst! You are not invincible.

And to be very candid with you… you guys think it’s some kind of achievement -- *tricking* unsuspecting girls, mostly from small town, who may not be feeling very confident about themselves or their lives at that particular moment, and luring them with your rotten sweet-talks and hints of empty promises! In reality, you are worse than the blushing teenager, who stammers as he approaches a girl with a rose in his hand! And if you really think you are so much of a Casanova… then I challenge you! Go and find yourself a completely self-confident girl-friend! Someone who’s life is running *perfectly* at the moment! Someone who’s in perfect health, who looks gorgeous, has a perfect career and a very supportive and intricate family-and-friends network too!

Haah! You wouldn’t dare approach girls like these! You don’t have enough balls! You’ll only approach the ones who have a broken family perhaps, or are going through some career problems at that time, or who’ve just come out of a bad relationship! Always remember: Only the very old tigers look for weak preys! The ones who are weak themselves! So never commit the mistake of believing that you deserve a pat on your back for screwing up the life of a girl who is not even aware of your disgusting rules of the game! Any guy, who has to lie to get himself laid (or even just to have some female company at his side!) is nothing more than a pathetic loser! His very manhood is questionable! (Remember that used-car salesman in “True Lies”?)

The guy my friend was involved with actually went as far ahead as to make wedding plans with her. In fact, she helped him set up his new flat here in Patna from scratch! Every single spoon, the curtains on the windows, the little bit of furniture he has currently – she helped him set it all up! He always behaved like she was already a part of his family! But then he was just “4-experiences” old, you know. Hence, he wasn’t that smart in his tactics! Guys with more experience always make sure you can never trap them with any promises of marriage on their part! They’ll always give even subtler hints of commitment to the girl, which will keep her from ending the relationship, but which they can easily refute later on as “misinterpretation” on the girl’s part! But such deliberate tricks don’t fool God up there you know, even if they might have managed to fool the girl for a few months/years!

Actually, to be very honest, I pity such guys! For they can never experience true love. Yes, I know a lot of you are going to comment that there is no such thing as “true love”… and I pity you too! Just because you haven’t seen/experienced something, it doesn’t mean that it never exists! Even dogs can’t see color, but that doesn’t mean colors don’t exist. And if you seriously believe true love doesn’t exist in real life, then you are really no better than a dog! But then we all already know this, don’t we… that “Men are Dogs”!

I wonder - how much bad karma a guy must have done in his past, that he gets real love in his life, only to push it away from him! Something special that God has blessed you with… and you refuse to accept it! Nothing can be more pitiable that THAT!

If this guy had remained steadfastly in my friend’s life… even if only as a platonic friend… her prayers would have helped him sail through his own life like an experienced fighter pilot! Just because she would have always believed that “he stood with her when she most needed support”! When you do an unselfish act of kindness for someone who’s in trouble, the fruits of that good Karma can take you from rags to riches! But now, after the way he has treated her, all he’s going to get is the wrath of a hurt female!

This is a Karmic payback period. All of us are balancing out our Karma in the current times. And guys like these… they not only attract the ill-wishes of the girl whose soul they’ve abused, they also attract the cumulative wrath of all the females on the planet!

Abusing a soul is much MUCH worse than any form of physical or sexual abuse. Breaking someone’s trust in you is the worst possible sin you can ever commit. Even a murder stands nowhere as compared to breaking someone’s trust in you. For in murder, you only stab the mortal body, but when you shatter someone’s trust, you stab his/her very soul!

And guys who abuse women like this… they can never ever be successful in their life. Not now. Not in this “payback” time! For now is the time Lord Krishna’s Sudarshan Chakra has taken off! It has been set in action! Anything you put your hands in now, any new venture you try, you’ll suffer major setbacks in it. You’ll encounter blocks and dead-ends at every step of the way. Financial crises of the likes you’ve never seen before, humiliation, loss of job, bad health/accidents, thefts and burglaries, controversies, sleepless nights, you name it!

You want to know if there is any way out of it -- only one. As Dumbledore tells Harry in book 7, the only way for Voldemort to repair the damage inflicted upon his own soul, by being so insensitive and merciless to other innocent souls, was REMORSE. Just like Voldemort, you too are living a cursed existence. You are less than living... less than whole. You might think right now that Harry Potter is just a Fairy Tale for little kids. But read between the lines. Try to get the real meaning of the entire plot. At the risk of sounding blasphemous, I’d go as far as to say that the Harry Potter series are no less than our great epics – Mahabharat & Ramayan – only written with a different background and in different times! (I know... if any of our Hindu religious preachers get to read this post ever, they’ll hang me for this! I don’t care!)

Coming back to the unscrupulous “players” of our male species… all you guys who have ever hurt even a single female in your life… ask for forgiveness – from ALL the females you have ever used and abused! Just like in that Hindi movie “Bachna Ae Haseeno”! Feel remorse for what you have done. Actually experience the hurt you have caused to these females. Be in their shoes. Feel their pain. You’ll squirm under your flesh when you see how horrible your soul looks now! In fact, I don’t have enough abusive words in my vocabulary to describe how ugly men like you are!

My friend will be fine. She’ll move on. If you honestly think that women, who are blessed with the strength to withstand labor pains, can fall apart at such minor hurts, then you totally underestimate them! Even most women underestimate themselves actually. My friend might not be able to trust another man for quite some time now… but she’ll get the good she deserves in life… in some other ways maybe! She played her part honestly and sincerely, she loved this man truly from her heart, with true sportsmanship spirit… and she will get the fruits of her good Karma. This is, after all, a Karmic clearance time.

Can’t say the same for this guy though! And he didn’t just use this girl (my friend)… he even used the other 3 females in his life to cover up his acts of shame, without their knowledge! I can’t even begin to imagine how this guy is going to end up, with Karma like that! On the one hand, I feel so angry at him… and yet, on the other, I can’t help but pray for him that “please God, have mercy on him, show him the Light… while there’s still hope of salvaging whatever’s left of his soul!”

Why am I getting so worked up about someone else’s life? Because I have also encountered such losers in my life! And I know, quite a few of my female readers have also been unfortunate to fall into the carefully laid-out traps of such men. I don’t need any words of sympathy right now… or even advice! Neither do any of those other females who have been abused, maybe not sexually, but mentally, emotionally AND spiritually! We are not responsible for how anyone else chooses to spend their life! To each, his/her own Karma. Period.

I write about it here because writing is what I do best, along with fixing broken computers of course, and even programming now! Writing is the only way I’m able to give vent to my pent-up feelings, so that they don’t remain bottled-up inside me. Am I expecting or hoping for anyone to change his ways after reading this post? Not really. But Lord Krishna did give one last chance to the Kauravas before the final battle of Mahabharat began. I’m not starting any battle or war here either. Frankly, I don’t have time for such losers! Just wanted to get this off my chest… and that’s what I’m doing.

Just be clear about one thing guys… there are all sorts of girls in this world, just like there are all sorts of guys. There are girls who believe in fidelity and commitment, who believe in monogamous relationships. Steer clear of them if that’s not how YOU perceive YOUR relationships. Find someone your own size. Find yourself a girl who plays YOUR game.


And remember: most girls (Indians at least!) still expect marriage at the end of a “formal proposal”. In other words, when you tell a girl, in those many words, that you “have developed feelings” for her, and that you “love” her, you both know it will be interpreted as “you want to marry her… maybe not immediately, but eventually.” So don’t start such a relationship with such a girl if you have no intention of following it through. Girls make it very clear, right at the beginning of an acquaintance, as to what category they fall in… whether they are the “open relationship” type or not. Don’t deliberately screw up someone’s life when you know they are not that type!

And yes, platonic relationships ARE possible. I have 99 friends on FaceBook… and I think more than 60% of them are males… and I have very beautiful “platonic” relationships with each one of them! For those of you who are not sure of the meaning of the word (yes, I have encountered such guys too!), “platonic” simply means “free from physical desires”... which means that you CAN love a person without any kind of physical intimacy creeping in the relationship. You can even share the same bed… sleep right next to each other… and yet keep your relationship free from any complications. Hope it’s clear now.

Oh and I know some of you are going to point out in your comments that "there are females also who act all bitchy and use men like this!" I completely agree with you. But this is a girl's blog. If you want to talk about such females, please feel free to do so on your own blog. This post is out-and-out a post on men!

Lastly, I thank you all for reading this immensely long and heavy post… those of you who have managed to make it so far! I salute your patience, and I don’t want you to spoil your day by carrying sticky residues of anger and hurt from this page. So I’ll end this post on a lighter note… male bashing of course, but, in a lighter vein!

They (the men obviously!) say that women are complex and difficult to understand! Read what Phoenix has to say about men’s vagueness and complexities in her “Public Diary” - http://apublicdiary.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-boyfriends-instructions.html!

Repeating some lines from my old post again –

Never say “I love you”, if you don’t care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren’t really there.
Never touch a life, if you mean to break a heart.
Never say you will, if you don’t plan to start.
Never look in the eye…
When all you do is lie…

Thankfully, I have come across more good guys in my life than such ugly ones. And I really respect them a lot more now… for they too had a choice, and they chose the path of honesty and sensitivity. In fact, had it not been for these “good” guys, I might have long ago changed my sexual orientation! But as things are right now, I’m still straight! [Keeping fingers crossed though!]

P.S. This post is dedicated to all my male friends who never deceived me, who stood by me whenever I needed them. I love you all and I wish from the bottom of my heart today, that all your most beautiful dreams come true! Loads of hugs…

Note: As pointed out by Shobhit's comments below, I apologize to all dogs and bitches of the world for having compared them with such foul and lifeless creatures as described above. I can't think of a correct replacement right now... so kindly substitute all occurrences of these marvelous animals in the post with something really REALLY disgusting! Thanks.

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40 comments:

Motormouth. said...

Very true!! Read this line somewhere- Men should be like kleenex, soft, strong and disposable! LOL.. I think some men, truly deserve this treatment!
But there are some guys, who are real sweethearts, they'll stand by your side even if the world collapses!
I think, there needs to be both kinds of men, to keep the balance. The good ones and the bad ones!

Kaddu said...

Sandhya:
Yupp... and also so that we can appreciate the good guys more.

pawan said...

Kaddu,
I will use your blog's comment post, for the little menial men out there who witnessed loads of emotions in life just due to one species made by God, Girls.

Girl 1: A four years long friendship and a even more long friendship, good mutual understanding and even better financial standing. Smiling, talking, chatting and in the end, a perfect romantic story. She started giving more space, and I started utilizing that space. Loved Love Loved till the lust became rust. It was then when I seemed like a pest to her. She cried, blasphemed, abused and virtually raped my emotions. She left a year ago, but her wounds are stiff fresh upon me, I tried calling, in vain, meeting in vain, gifted her, in vain.

She brutally let me out, without a word. The pain slithered up and hurt my already broken heart. The aftermath followed. It has been a year since and I can proudly say I am still in love with her.

Girl 2: Energizer, active, cute and bubbly. I was not interested and paid no heed. She let me take her, made me walk, gave support and strength. When I was seeing a new light in my life, she let me out in gloom. She was already on with another guy. She lied.

Girl 3: I got irritated, frustrated and fatigued. No more girls I decided. The last girl whoever she is, I hope she knows that men too have a heart and they too cry. They are sensitive and not all men are freaks and break heart buddies. I hope I find one, till now in vain.


Lovely post and equally lively. Liked the Harry Potter thread. Liked the whole post as a matter of fact. But the thing that pains is, not all girls are as good as you think, they are worse than boys.

Cheers!

Kaddu said...

Pawan:
:D As I already accepted above -- I know there are bitchy girls too. I don't deny it. But they are not worse than boys. Such people are equally bad, regardless of whether they are a girl or a boy, if they play with the feelings of someone who's not of their type. They should play among themselves, for both seem to play the same game.

pawan said...

Agreed!
But its sad that I only encounter the baddies!
Pray for the best and hope for the least became my motto!

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Hi Kaddu,
wow...took my time commenting, as was going through the post many times.
In the above story, i am sorry to say, your friend was wrong...she trusted the wrong guy isn't it?
Think over it, you say Men are dogs (however offended I am by this statement, I understand the bad state of your friend, Not all men are dogs, remember..) then isn't it next to stupidity to argue with such people?
If you say you found out he had 4 affairs with other girls, where was this sleuthness shown in the 2-3 months???
When we say Indian culture or Indian girls, we all know they take 2 years to arrange a marriage, but they decide the same guy 2 b their life partner in just a month for love marriage?
Now, consider this? A famous saying, 'If a person fools someone once, he is smart. If he fools many people once, the society is a fool'
So right now, instead of wasting your energy on the boy, or the mankind, the first priority should be to make ur friend rise on her feet. Then let her take a grip on her life...after that...she will b prepared for revenge...

Cheers,
SiD
P.s. When she stands on her feet back, ping me. I have many schemes cooked up for revenge, The boy will have a nervous breakdown, guaranteed.

Kaddu said...

pawan:
Start hoping for the best too... and you will break the jinx! :D
All the best!

Kaddu said...

SiD:
You tell me... if a girl who has been a very close platonic friend of yours for the last couple of years... you might not have been able to meet her for being in different towns, but you have talked very regularly on the phone... about general stuff like friends do... and this girl suddenly tells you one day that she has developed feelings for you, and really likes you a lot and wouldn't it be good if instead of marrying strangers, you both get married to each other... What would you do in such a situation? Won't you take her at face value too, considering that you've interacted for 2 years now, and there is a great level of comfort between you 2!

About his 3 other affairs (4th one was my friend), she found out only now, a few days ago, after he gave her the brush-off. There was no reason for her to go acting sleuth before this, was she. As I said, they were plain friends for couple of years before he initiated a proper relationship and made wedding plans with her. Would you doubt a close friend and spy on him/her?

And nobody takes 2 years to arrange a marriage. In fact, it's even faster in arranged situations. You get to spend like just an hour or two... sometimes even just a few minutes... with the other person, and you have to give your final answer in just that much time. Where in this country did you see a guy n girl being allowed to spend 2 years together with a guy before deciding whether their parents should "arrange" their marriage or not?

And nobody is wasting time here. As I already mentioned at the start of my post... I have been giving her my time and support for the last few days. And I have also already mentioned in my post that she'll be fine. Surely I wouldn't say such a thing if I hadn't seen any signs of recovery in her!

As for the saying... do u honestly mean to say that because people are stupid enough to trust you, you guys have the right to deliberately deceive someone? Does that mean that we should stop trusting guys altogether? You have a gf right? Would she suspect you of deception if you decide one day to go and lie to her about something? She'll simply take you for your word. That's what relationships are all about.... trust and promise. Both of u make a promise to each other that you'll be there for each other... and both of you trust each other for keeping his/her part of the promise. You can't be in a relationship if you don't trust that person!

Thanks for the offer for revenge btw. Although none of us are really interested in it. He's honestly not worth it! Besides, like I said... people have already started paying for their Karma. He will too. We don't need to do anything on our part, except for letting that guy know that the curtains have been raised on his plots now. Which she'll do once he returns from Delhi, where he's currently ran off to hide, at her sister's place!

Shilpa Garg said...

OMG!! I truly feel sad, bad and mad for your friend!!
I know, there are all kinds out there!! But it truly wrenches your heart, when somebody close to you is affected by that!!
I wish your friend gets all the happiness in life!

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

@kaddu
See, its a sad fact that girls think emotionally before thinking practically...and also sadly some boys do take advantage over the situation.

I really wish you stop referring 'you' (I really did not betray anyone, sacchi)

See, my gf trust me with her life...i can betray her and ran off in a jiffy, its easy...but running away is not a solution for my part.
On her part, she will b way too much optimistic (more than Gandhi, in fact) to believe that a guy will not take advantage of her, once she openly asks him about relationship...

its like you open a honey pot in front of a bear, and wish that he will simple smell it and keep it with him. He will finish off that honey isn't it?? Cos there are no bees guarding it...

Nice example naa?

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

and i really and completely disagree that you sud wait for God to intervene and punish the person. I prefer the shorter way...revenge. :)

Kaddu said...

Shilpa:
I know... she deserves all the happiness that she can get... every bit of it!

Kaddu said...

SiD:
Bad example! :D
In a relationship, the guy is supposed to guard the girl... not some other 'bees' as you say. What kind of relationship is it if you need body-guards around you when you are with that person? Huhhhh!

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

the 'bees' are the cultures and restrictions my dear...u advocate and quote hinduism...didn't u unerstand??? d dogma in Hinduism is written to protect the sanity of a women???

Shobhit said...

Dear Miss Kaddu,

I just read your post. And having read it, I'm left highly enraged. X-(

I take the strongest objection to the statement which you have used to end your tenth paragraph, which is.... "Men are dogs"! X-(

Agreed, your blog is known for male-bashing. But, you have gone over the line. X-(

Who in the world gave you the right to even compare men with dogs, let alone equate them, like you have.

You should know very well, that a dog is one of the most trustworthy and faithful companion to have. Just how could you mention a dog to be equal to a man.... ?? Is it not dishonoring the very virtues of a dog.... ?? A dog would rather give his life for his companion than breaking the trust.

X-( X-( X-(

In fact, you cannot compare men, or rather, 'such men' with any other living creature. Better if you would have made a comparison with something so foul and lifeless which would be fit for such men.

If only us Homo sapiens could learn even a little bit from the rest of the animal kingdom, our world would be so much better.... sigh....

Yes, this has become a sort of fashion with today's youth. They take pride in counting the number of girls, or rather, 'girl-friends' that they have gone around with.

Just stating a small example...

This guy from our college-batch, who was going around with a girl, also from the same batch. Soon, it was evident that they were 'gf-bf'. The girl would do all she could for him. Taking down notes, completing projects, getting him food, faking his attendance in class, just being with him... (Even kept fasts for him on 'Karvachauth'.... phew....)

I thought he was one lucky guy.

But as college life ended, he was off to another part of the country in pursuit of his studies. While the girl waited, without any news of him, and was eventually married off by her parents to some other guy. The last I heard of him was that he's happily going around with another girl. So what if he had a girl-friend in his school days as well. (Yes,.... he had... ! So I'm told !)

Ohh, but he is true to his family values. He would marry as and where his family would want him to get married. Isn't his family so lucky to have such a nice and dedicated son ?? And so would be the in-laws who would thank God while giving their daughter's hand in his.

Well, I guess I'm drifting from the topic here.

But 'Sid',.... I don't think anyone would have to wait for God to intervene in such cases. The wheel (or as Kaddu says, the 'Sudarshan Chakra') starts spinning instantly. It strikes when it hurts most. So, don't worry about the revenge bit. :)

Ohhh.... You made me forget between all this. Kaddu, I demand the editing of that 'Men are dogs' phrase... X-( (So too, the 'bitchy girls' one ) The nicety of dogs is incomparable to the deeds of such men....

Oops.... This almost got as big as a post itself.... :p Sorry.... :D

Kaddu said...

SiD:
My above statement still holds valid. Whatever interpretation you add to bees, the guy who says "I love you" to a girl, is supposed to protect her. That's the fundamental meaning of the phrase, as we have already covered in my post on this a few days ago. Promise and trust.

And I wasn't talking anywhere about the Hindu *dogmas* -- they are created by pundits, who are males, and are meant only to keep the female population under suppression. I was talking about Lord Krishna and Dumbledore.

The Dogmas state that girls should remain confined within the boundaries of their house. Is that your point then? If you are so much a follower of the Hindu dogmas, why do you have a gf? And do you seriously think deep down that she shouldn't be involved with u before marriage? But that makes you a party to the crime too you know. Are you doing anything to protect the dogmas you talk about? Why didn't you immediately marry her if you liked her so much? Why did u get involved with her in a relationship without marriage? Or r u also simply planning to use her and throw her away when you are done? And then just say that it was her fault that she did not remain within her 'bees'? Girls who get involved with guys before marriage are cheap and characterless... is that what you think? And is that how you think about your gf too who has just gifted you your most favorite cowboy hat?

Yes, I deliberately use "YOU", 'coz your thoughts reflect how you'll be as a person. So DO think what you really want to say before your next comment on this. This is highly sensitive topic, and any kind of innuendoes will not be taken lightly. Don't just argue for the sake of arguing.

Kaddu said...

Shobhit:
I know of 2 such guys myself... both losers. You are right... dogs are much better! And now when you mention it, I honestly can't think of anything as low as these creatures! Hence the post remains as it is... I have just added an apology to all the dogs and bitches.

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

we all have fair share of opposite sex behaving like this...and i don't blame them for it...

though i can relate myself to ur post a lot..and loads of time I behaved like jerk...but I m not sorry..coz i was treated like a jerk more than that by the opposite sex...

If i start writng the grudges i have for them...ur post will look like sand particle in a beach ...but I won't coz blaming them for my foolishness of trusting them for the fst time is cliche and if I get bored of a woman ...wat's the use of continuing the relationship ..only for the sake that woman wants me to marry her..she is better off me if I don't love her anymore...real slimy act would have been marrying her then....and really I m not sorry.. If I can handle them ..they do need to handle it well...

I know u might not like the comment...but I din't like ur post...the way u bashed men..that few lines of dedication won't ever suffice...

:)
and publsihing the comment is completely ur discretion...

Dhiman said...

Kaddu,
The problem mainly I see here is with generalizations ... because your friend got 'trapped' by some guy you can't generalize like Pawan pulled out 3 examples from his life and I can pull out umpteen examples from 'life' and start terming "Women are bitch" would you like it....
I have seen this "trapping" from very close quarters and women do seem to be 'fooled' by sweet talk without thinking about the genuineness of it....
I don't know if your friend knew this guys past still would have walked into the 'trap because I have seen 'women' just don't see logic .... In today's world one has to be practical ....
You talk of preying my question why do 'you' get preyed I mean it applies for men as well... don't 'you' have enough sense to look through .....then how will god help 'you' if 'you' can't help 'yourself'.....
Kaddu for every story of mistrust I can bring out 5 stories of trust dear... believe me.... 'you' have to be careful and I tell 'you' I have 'saved' someone very close from such a 'trap' and yet she still blames me for being a spoilsport what do I say to it.... tell me....
when someone 'hypnotizes' it can't happen if 'you' don't want it happen ....

Kaddu said...

DayDreamer:
So it's ur idea of revenge then? Some girl who was a coward and a jerk to u... that she hurt you... and therefore you have made it your mission to hurt as many innocent girls as you possibly can?

If you have read my post completely... each and every word that is... then u'll know I have already mentioned that such guys shud pick girls of their own type... who are equally not interested in getting into a serious relationship. There are definitely plenty of them as you have already pointed out in your comment. So why can't u leave the simple ones alone haan?

There can be only 2 possible reasons - one is revenge as I said above. And the other, I mentioned in my post... u don't think u'll be able to match a playgirl! Or perhaps u hv a notion that a playgirl might dump u before u dump her... whereas a simple girl who genuinely loves u, won't ever dream of hurting like u that! Is this the reason then?

Either way... I pity u! And u say u get bored of them... would u discard ur parents also like this then? Or ur brother/sister if u have any? Haah! Escapist! This post definitely applies to u then!

Btw, I publish all comments unless they r spam or something totally personal. For example, if u leave ur email id in ur comment, I mite not publish it.

Kaddu said...

Dhiman:
I am not sure if you read the post completely. I have never generalized anywhere in my post. That statement "Men are Dogs" was meant in a lighter vein, as you can see from the old post it links to. Besides, I have already acknowledged the existence of such females and have called them "bitches" too in my post. And i have mentioned that such dogs and bitches should couple up with each other and leave the ordinary humans alone! I have also clarified already why this post is about such males only and not such females. I think you should go through the post once again.

As for not falling prey to such men... dude! You seriously think if someone who has been a very gud friend to u for the last couple of years and now proposes to convert it into a proper relation... someone who repeatedly tells u that he loves u and makes wedding plans with u, and does long term future planning with u... you'd still doubt his/her intentions?

If you can't even trust a friend, then perhaps the only solution is that don't fall in such relationships with anyone! Don't be a gf/bf to anyone! Let's just get back to our old "arranged marriage" system! So then u guys will also hv to do ur share! If u like a girl, u can't approach her directly then. U straightaway send ur parents to meet her parents and fix up ur marriage immediately.

What funny justifications in favor of the guy! Height! The same senseless argument happened on Nikita's post! My post makes it very clear as to what kind of guys I'm talking about. And I have also ALREADY made it clear that I know there are more good guys that such loatheful pieces of shit! In fact my post ends with a dedication to such good men! I don't see any point for this debate!

You guys really need to sit and think about this... your motive behind relationships and your thoughts and views about females! I can't believe you guys are actually saying what this guy did to my friend was OKAY... and that it was HER fault! What rubbish! You guys just never want to let women become strong and go out! Always want to keep them suppressed!

Gautam said...

hmmm now i know why good, smart gals stay away from strangers like me :((...:D

well i think no one should be taken 4 granted these days..:))n i dont know what do you gain by taking an example and then genralising it and say something like "MEN ARE DOGS"...when i think you can do something more than just posting :))...i think only women can teach these bastards a lesson :D

Shobhit said...

Thanks a lot Kaddu... :)

Well, I think not just one, but all religions, as they are today, are 'run' by males and aimed at suppressing the females. Have you heard any female being the leader of any religion ?

All those groups targetting girls and molesting them in the name of 'Indian culture' and 'religious values' are a fitting example. Sadly, that's what is the reality of the Indian male (not all males, mind you...)

Does any religion have any provision prohibiting or punishing a guy for having a relationship with a girl before marriage ? I guess not.

Sorry to bring in religion into this, but couldn't help it after reading a couple of comments here.

Secondly, we Indians, when subjected to injustice or hurt, tend to take out our grudges on someone who is innocent and who is weaker than us either physically, mentally, emotionally or who is subordinate to us by rank. (Ragging in educational institutions exemplifies that...)

You will always find guys who have been ditched by their 'playgirl' girl-friends to "still love her". But they take out their grudges on other simple and innocent girls. Why not payback the one who ditched you ???

Why not fight back the one who hurt you if you are a real 'Man' ???

Kaddu said...

Gautam:
Once again... I haven't generalized anywhere in this post... if only you guys would read it COMPLETELY! I have clearly stated in the 3rd last paragraph that there are more good guys than such bad ones. And then I have also dedicated this post to all my good male friends. Moreover, I have already accepted that there are similar females too. I wish u'd read everything before jumping to assumptions. I know it's a long post... and I gave u the option to skip it if u wish to. But commenting after reading only a part of the post is pretty senseless!

Kaddu said...

Shobhit:
I'm glad we have at least 1 *MAN* between us here! The Indian male mentality is pretty obvious by these comments. Any girl who gets involved with a guy before marriage is necessarily a character-less woman... and therefore, it justifies their act of using them like a tissue paper! The fact that THEY themselves are also involved with someone before marriage doesn't make them an equally cheap guy though. In other words, different sets of rules for both males and females, right?

And the statement... "I get BORED by the same girl"... so CLEARLY states that women are still nothing more than objects of pleasure to SUCH guys! Like u get bored with ur clothes, ur toys, ur perfume... same way u get bored of ur partner!

As for religion and the dogmas of our society... they don't say anything if a guy runs around bare chested on the football field... but they all make life hell for Sania Mirza if she chooses to wear a smaller skirt while playing! Haahhh!

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

LoL

I don't need ur pity ..keep it for someone who needs nor I need ur suggestions...

and for ur kind information... boys never get bored of innocent girls...they get bored when they start to poke their nose in affairs that needs privacy...

and if u believe the notion that lovers should take call decisions together than u r wrong...every person needs space...

and the world is not based on love...there is attraction ..u want to get close..and soon u found the partner uncompatible.. what will u do ??


ladki ladko ko dump kare toh..oh he might be jerk..and ladke kare toh he is a jerk..lol...if u r gonna give us a name ...ten why need excuse..u can call us jerk anytime...and

rahi baat guardians and family or frnds ki...if they start to poke their nose instead of respecting my privacy...then no one loves them..and if u don't agree... think about if ur parents want u to marry a boy whom u don't kno..how will u react... aarti karoge unki ya protest ????

and rahi baat playgirl ki... if I fall for her knowing her past....then I need to go to a doctor fst :P ..

revenge...lol... i don't believe in them..i believe if u took a decision to fall for me knowing that I m a jerk.. then it's ur fault... and believe me all of my ex relationships knew what i was n what I am :)

chalo koi nhi

u give one suggeston to ur frnd...that yeh jo jindagi hai yeh faltoo k relationship k chakkar mein udaas hone k liye nhi hai.. it is for taking out best of it... cherish the frnd ....and look before leaping for next time......

Kaddu said...

DayDreamer:
Dude! Even girls need their space! Don't think u guys are all high-and-mighty and we girls have nothing better to do than wag our tails behind u!

Besides, if u feel u need more space in any relationship, u can easily talk abt this with that girl like a mature adult! U don't need to run off at the very first opportunity! It just reflects that u don't have it in u to find solutions for minor incumberances in relationships!

Like u said, if my family starts poking their nose too much into my personal affairs, i would "protest"... not just run away from home!

And i have not once mentioned in my post that if a girl dumped a guy, then he must have been a jerk! I have stated very clearly that I have equally low opinion of such girls too!

About knowing the past thing... PLEASE READ THE POST AGAIN! My friend came to know his past 3 relationships only a few days AFTER he gave her the brush-off! DO try and keep your comments relevant to the post! Of course, if u just want to argue for the sake of arguing, then it's a different matter.

preposterousgirl said...

Hi kaddu...
Well to begin with..Marvellous post..And i second u there too that even if there are some men who are dogs but still True Love exists..
Such men(the dog species) live on the mercy of women and they will die without making an impact except may be if they maintain some notebook for keeping a track of how many "experiences" they have...

Garima said...

Now I think you'll be able to relate what I wanted to say in this post of mine http://garima82.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/life-is-all-about-the-grey-area/ ... the guy did something of the similar sort to one of my friends...though not to that extent...it was just a few months of him acting like a casanova with her... but i knew what he was upto and forced my friend to not to trust him... and later when he was leaving the organisation i told him that he was wrong during this episode... and guess what i got in return as a response "you should be thankful, i could have damaged things to 100%...but i only did 20%"... he was one asshole and i was very happy the day he left...

Kaddu said...

PG:
Yeah... well such men should find girls their own type... that's all I say. They'll be happy and the other simple ones will also be happy. Life can be simple... if we don't remain so hell-bent on making it complicated.

Kaddu said...

Garima:
I guess such people have a completely different perspective on life. They simply can't see your point of view. They think what they are doing is right... and that the rest of us are wrong!

I was seeing a part of this English movie yesterday on TV -- something about a couple of miracle dogs which a couple of guys apparently found in a stolen car. One of those 2 guys actually believed that he was meant (destined) to have those dogs and get rich with their help! "Stealing" meant "borrowing" in his mental dictionary! Can you talk reason with such people? [rolls eyes heaven-wards]

Dazediva said...

WOW impressive post and even more so - the comments and emotions coming out of each person !

I'm glad you apologised to the dogs - being the dog lover that I am ... I cannot for the life of me understand which moron came up with the statement that 'men are like dogs' ... Dogs are just a higher species than humans (see I'm not biased towards men or women)

I'm sorry to hear about your friend - it may take her a while to get over the evilness of the guy in question but she will toughen up a bit ... with a friend like you around - I'm sure she won't be wallowing in self pity ..

Great post darling !

Kaddu said...

DazeDiva:
:D Actually that phrase was concocted for a specific reason... by whom - I know not! Just click on that phrase in my post, and you'll see why. It's actually an old SMS joke... similar to the way guys often create jokes comparing females to random stuff, on the basis of the way we girls behave.

My friend is fine now... initially she was burning up in her desire for revenge... but now she's come back around to focusing on her life. :D

ani_aset said...

isso era portugese

Kaddu said...

ani:
Arre! Kahan ka comment kahan post kar diya? :)) LOL!
Btw, no clue about Portugese... not even a 'Hello' or a 'Thank you'! :p

Vincy said...

Well I appreciate the way you have written this blog but as per my experience with relationships suggests that never trust the one side of the story. Proposing a girl never mean that one is willing to marry her. As the relationship grow you discover yourself and your partner. There may be a chance that one of the partner realizes that this is not what he is looking. You tell me how many men and women seriously know what they want in their life. Their requirement, their emotional quotients, career all changes with time. So please stop defaming the Men or guys here. Just assume that you have failed in one of your ventures.You selected a wrong person and you failed. Thats it.

Kaddu said...

Hi Vincy! I believe you hopped in here from Shalu's blog! :)

Agreed with all your point except these 2:

1. In small towns of our country, proposing STILL means that you have eventual marriage at the end in your mind. Besides, this post wasn't just about "proposing"... I already mentioned in several places... the guy had actually made elaborate & EXPLICIT wedding plans with my friend.

2. Regarding "defaming the men or guys"... I would request you to read the full post & ALL the comments that follow. If you still feel that your point is justified, please leave a comment once again with suitable points in support, and we'll take this discussion on from there.

And by the way, since this is your first visit here, I'm replying to your comment patiently. I'm normally very rude to those commentators who leave comments without reading the post fully. It just wastes too much time repeating things over and over again... my time, the time of all those people who might still be subscribed to this thread.

Cheers! :D

Kaddu said...

Oh forgot to mention this...

"You selected a wrong person and you failed."

Well, this post wasn't about me you know... I was talking about a friend... surely you got that much???

Vincy said...

Hi..
Well I appreciate your patient reply. I read your content to full extent except the comments that followed.I didn't know the rule that I cann't put in any comment without reading followed comments. Anyway I tell you one thing for sure. Believe it or not.There is no true story.There is always some part which is hidden or not told and since you narrated your friend's story,that too of a girl chances of getting it 100% true is dim. Any way since I am totally unaware of that girl, I am just using my experience in commenting here.Please don't take it personally.
Some other points."You selected a wrong person and you failed." Well can there be any better consolation for that poor girl.In my earlier comment too I was not particularly pointing to you. Suggest her to move on. Its better to get break up than to get divorced.
Thanks

Kaddu said...

Hi again Vincy! :D

No, the reading comments rule isn't applicable for ALL posts... just controversial ones like this, which can get misunderstood.

And yes, my friend has in fact moved on. Actually, this post is very old... more than a year now. I have no clue how Shalu landed on this post & then decided to share it too! :P

Anyways, this post is tagged under "Rantings"... and that's why it's such an over-emotional blast sort of a post. Do feel free to browse through the other parts of my blog. From the tag cloud on the top of the sidebar, you'll find that "rantings" isn't such an important section of this blog! :

Cheers!

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