Thursday, April 16, 2009

Friends?

Yesterday I received an "add request" on Orkut from some strange kid in Patna. The message accompanying the add request was a simple “Hiiiii”! I looked into his profile – we have no common friends, no common communities either! (Actually, the latter isn’t even possible, ‘coz I’m only subscribed to one community on Orkut now, and that’s my old school batch!)


Anyways, this guy sends me a “Hiiii” and expects me to add him as a friend… just because he happens to be from Patna?!? As a matter of fact, I have specifically mentioned in my “About Me” section that I don’t go around adding strangers to my friend list! Yet, he sends me an add request… which means that he has either not bothered to read what I’ve written or chosen to deliberately ignore my request! Would anyone want to have such a “friend” who doesn’t even listen to them… forget about respecting their wishes?

And, on top of it, all he has to say to me is a “Hiiii”! Let us assume for a moment that I DO add him in my friend list… after that what? We just sit there in each other’s friend-lists and stare at the blue background? I mean don’t people need to have something to talk about with their “friends”! (Unless, of course, they have become such good friends over time that even silence can communicate!)

Or maybe it’s just some sort of number game for them! (“I have 283 friends in my list!” “Is that so? Well, I have 301! Beat that!”) Weird really! I can’t figure out whether to be irritated at such people or amused by them!

It’s not that I’m closed to making new friends or that I have something against “virtual friends” (or make that “pen friends” if you will)! Most of my regular blog readers are people whom I have never met in real life! Some of my very good Reiki friends are people whom I’ve never met in person till now! Despite that, I’m living peacefully and happily with all of them in the same web-sphere!

So the problem is not with meeting “strangers” online… it is about not being able to find a familiar cord with some of them! (And no… just being from the same town is not “familiar” enough for me to befriend someone!) :-D

Ha ha! Poor kid! Maybe if he had spent a little time reading my profile and finding out what I like to do, he could have come up with a better way of initiating a conversation with me than the dead-end “Hiiii”… and then maybe after exchanging a few intellectually stimulating messages, I might have felt he deserved a place in my friend list!

But this… outright “order” to be allowed to enter into a girl’s private life, her “inner circle” of friends and family… without any preliminaries… and without giving her “the space to walk away” if she so chooses… is so “15th century-ish”! It’s like taking her for granted! It’s almost like saying… “You should consider yourself lucky, you woman, that I, a man, am giving you a place at my feet!” (Ewwww! Gross!)

Oh well! I suppose the kid will learn… in time! They all do! But I hope the next “add request from a stranger” comes from someone who can do better than that “Hiiiii”! I mean come on yaar… a girl with sooooooooo many words… and all you can give her is a measly “Hiiii”? Duhhhh! That’s simply not done now, is it?

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10 comments:

Mahesh Nayak said...

"A girl with sooooooo many words" - oh yeah, I totally agree, babe. Considering such a long post for just a "Hiiii" I do totally agree.

Kaddu said...

:-p He he!

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

There's also another thing that I never quite understood. The need to "maaro a propose". I'm like, get to know her/him first!! Follow a logical path where you have at least a shot at getting closer to the person you fancy. Too many Bollywood movies? The "Aaju baju mat dekh I love you bol dal" approach?

Kaddu said...

Yupp! And then you expect the girl to love you too, when you haven't even given her enough time to "trust" you first!

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

It's something about the perceived anonymity that the Net creates that makes people totally lose their marbles online. Its one mistake all too easy to make, to think that online communication isn't governed by the same rules of decency that govern our regular flesh and blood world. With a billion people online worldwide, Netiquette ought to start figuring in regular school curricula, specially in India, where instead of being an element that helps overcome our physical inhibitions the Internet is often seen as a smut filled virtual boobytrap for harassment and abuse. What a shame for an 'IT superpower'.

Kaddu said...

Abiroop:
Yessss! And that's what freaks me out, I guess! I mean ppl just go beyond their normal decent limits under the garb of anonymity! At times, it gets really distasteful!

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

But then, it isn't really that different from the real world is it? (The internet is just as real, but thats another story).
The online world is merely a reflection of the offline. Its just that most of our daring frandshippers may not have the balls to launch a hiii in the flesh.

Kaddu said...

Abhiroop:
@ "The online world is merely a reflection of the offline."

I don't know abt that one dude! :-/
Ppl tend to act so over-familiar on the internet -- whereas, like u said, they wouldn't even dare a "hiii" in the real life! The basic levels of decency & manners seem to be completely forgotten by most ppl on the internet. At times it feels as if they are letting out their frustrations with their real life by giving freedom to their animal instinct to run amuck on the internet!

Rambler said...

It's really weird getting these Hiii and I wanna fraandship with you kind of requests.What can such people possibly talk about with random strangers!

Kaddu said...

Rambler:
I'm still trying to figure that out yaar! I for one can't sustain a conversation with such people for more than 5 mins usually!

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