Friday, August 22, 2008

Having No Regrets

It’s easy to say “I have no regrets”… but do we really mean it when we say it?


I made some choices in the past regarding my life, my career… and various other things. Those choices felt right at that point of time in life. But were they really right?

If the whole world around you keeps reminding you of how something could have been if you had taken the “left turn” instead of the “right” that you took, then doesn’t it mean that a part of you does have regrets for making that choice in life?

If, even after years and years, you keep fantasizing about how things could have been if you had made that other choice, then shouldn’t you change your ways and grab the first opportunity that comes your way, which could take you back along that “left turn” you missed earlier?

The Universe has its own ways of letting you know that you made a wrong choice – inner restlessness, frustration, low self-esteem, accidents, ill health – you name it! But the moment you think of getting back to where you belong, your world suddenly turns right again! You feel relaxed and at peace – with the world and with yourself. You feel more energetic and optimistic than ever before.

So then, let’s say for example, there is something in this world that I really enjoy -- I find it extremely relaxing… even “better than sex” in fact! I have dreamt and desired this something for years now. But when I do get it, I give it up only because of my refusal to change! Only because I choose to remain stubbornly inflexible and inadaptable!

Shouldn’t I have any regrets about making this choice then?

Ok maybe right now my ego is more important to me. Maybe right now, my need to cling on to my past experiences is stronger than allowing fresh new episodes in my life to unfold. But what when I’m 90?

(Ok most people get themselves a rocking chair in their sixties, but I started late in life, so I’ll reach the “rocking-chair phase” only in my nineties… not before that!)

So when I’m 90 and sitting in my rocking chair… and reflecting back upon my life… with decades of experience and wisdom-that-comes-only-with-old-age having already squashed my ego to “nothing”… will I still have no regrets about letting go of the one thing that I wanted so much in life – even more than sex?

When I realize that I could have enjoyed that thing for 60 years straight if only I’d let go of my ego instead that day… if only I had taken one more chance in letting the Universe create a happy movie for me instead of the regular disastrous ones… if only I had adopted a little more flexibility in my approach that day… when I realize all of this, would I still not have any regrets?

I’m not 90 yet… I’m still 30… and I may have wasted a few years till now, but I still can have my heart’s desire to enjoy for the next 60 years! As such, I’d rather be regretful now, when I still have time to make amends, than at the age of 90! I’d rather let go of my ego and my reluctance to change, than that thing which I like “even more than sex” and which I’ve dreamt about continuously for the last few years!

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5 comments:

Shreesh said...

me n my friend had a funny observation one day ..we generally regret what we didnt do rather than what we did,even if it resulted in disasters. we remember out disastars n laugh on it on how idoitic we had benn...but we cant seem to let go of something which we did not do.

Kaddu said...

"we remember out disastars n laugh on it on how idoitic we had benn"

So true! We always laugh at our stupidities (if that is a word)... but we always regret hvng not done sth when it was possible to do it!

So damn true!

Happy said...

Hi Kaddu,

Firstly I am V happy that u drove Shreesh nuts lastnight with ur inquiry...hahaha, (Shreesh u planning to kick me buddy???)

Like I said, everyone can relate to the content in this post "Having No Regrets" n it is so true that many a time we simply say we have no regrets but actually we do.

One thing in this post that really made me ponder over an issue is... when the hints from the universe are so clear regarding a particular thing, say in terms of discomfort or uneasiness regarding some situation / person, why is that we still go ahead n do it anyways?

What could it possibly be that stops us from listenting to such clear hints and indications?

Is it mere stupidity on our part? Is it mere destiny that no matter what we have to go through such torture? or is it that we need to learn few lessons only through the torture n theres no other way? Well...I hopefully will get an answer some day.

Anyways friend, wish u keep writing such interesting blogs n many more.

Kaddu said...

@ happy: "or is it that we need to learn few lessons only through the torture n theres no other way?"

U answered ur own question sweetheart! :)

If life keeps throwing us in the same "disastrous" or "uncomfortable" situations repeatedly, time n time again... it is a definite indication that u are meant to learn some lessons from those situations! Meaning... u need to figure out better ways of handling those situations so that they don't turn out to be disastrous.

Everything that happens arnd us is a mirror, showing us what we need to change in ourselves. We are all meant to enjoy the best of everything in life by default... each one of us. We just need to figure out the best strategy of doing so.

It's the same as any other business deal. You figure out what you have to gain, and you figure out what you need to lose/give in the process, and then you decide if that gain is worth the investment or not. Simple maths.

Hope it makes sense! :) And I'm really glad u like my blog. Don't worry, I'll keep blogging! Even though I do tend to get a bit irregular from time to time! :D

Neelabh said...

I will not debate if we have regrets or not but will definately agree that I (not sure if I can write we or not) definately oversee/neglect my regrets. Just to satisfy my id which is very big.

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