Sunday, March 9, 2008

Dreams

I am pretty much used to having all kinds of weird dreams and nightmares, but, I'm not quite used to being kept awake for a big portion of the night because of a nightmare!


I remember when I was a small kid, my dad used to place an iron knife under my pillow - it is apparently believed here that iron wards off bad dreams. I had that knife under my pillow for several years. Then I guess I just stopped having those nightmares. The dreams continued, but they weren't scary ones anymore - until my mom died, that is.

Not long after she passed away, terrifying dreams started waking me up again in the middle of the night. Usually they were related to my sis and me witnessing some crime in action, and the bad guys chasing us to kill us. This has been the most frequent dream theme for me for as far back as I can remember. The crooks never quite managed to catch us, but we didn't manage to shake them off our trail either. I simply woke up in the middle of the chase!

While this has been a very frequent dream, it has never disturbed me so much as to not let me go back to sleep immediately after. But last night I had one of the most horrible nightmares!

My dad and I were visiting some place - looked like some kind of group gathering - and someone tried to kill us during the night. I think it was a female, but I'm not sure about it now. We were all sleeping (even in the dream!) and I woke up just in time to see that person inching towards us. I immediately nudged my father too, but at that very moment, that person jumped towards my dad with that knife/dagger in his/her hand, and I woke up with a scream! I mean I woke up in real life this time - and with a real scream!

This happened at something like 2 am last night... and it didn't feel like a dream at all! It seemed as if I'd REALLY been to that place and somebody had REALLY tried to kill my dad and me (although we both looked completely different in the dream)!

I woke up, but it was several minutes before I could move my body... and even after that, I just sat up and kept sweating and shivering (at the same time!) and trying to calm myself down with logic and reasoning! Took me like half an hour to gather enough courage to step out of my bed! Went to the bathroom, had some water, tried to go back to sleep... but no good!

I eventually found myself debating whether I should wake my dad up, but when you have just reached the age of 30, there's a certain amount of overtly sensitive pride involved here, that threatens of getting severely hurt if you try to do something that a 3-year-old would do!

So, as an alternate plan of action, I thought of waking up my “first love” instead (oh alright then – the new “avatar” of my “first love”!) and playing “Minesweeper” on it! Actually, “Minesweeper” is what I played 9-10 years ago, in Kanpur, when my “nightmares” wouldn’t let me sleep, but now I think the game can be replaced with “Mahjongg Fortuna”!

Anyways, it just seemed like too much of an effort to turn on my computer in my half-asleep state! So I simply turned the lights on in my room instead, and decided to wait a while and see if that alone would let me go back to sleep! Oh and I started giving Reiki to myself… and then my room… and then the entire house… and eventually the entire world that surrounds me… and kept affirming that I am perfectly safe and secure in that particular location!

As it is, not once in any of my dreams or nightmares, in all these years, has anyone ever managed to actually kill me! I have always been the perfect “slippery eel” for all my “presumable enemies” in the nightmares! But anyways, I finally managed to get back to sleep sometime after 4 am! Exciting night, I must say!

What I don’t understand is the fact that why am I the only person in my family to have such dreams and nightmares! What I also don’t understand is the fact that why are all my nightmares so repetitive in theme! On a more serious note, the frequency of my dreams increased considerably last year when I was regularly listening to the DNA Activation audio. My dream activity has increased once again in the last week, since I started doing that “Violet Flame” visualization regularly. (My left brain seems to be picking up some kind of pattern here!)

The spiritual gurus say that dreams are our gateways to the hidden realms of the world. Then what hidden mysteries are my dreams trying to unveil? Is it some kind of karmic or past life release that is going on? Or are my dreams trying to give me a message? Whatever it is, it isn’t really working out… because my right brain is just not developed enough to interpret the language spoken by the Divine consciousness! (If at all it really is some kind of Divine communication!)

I wish someone would just translate those visuals into plain black-and-white words (did I say “words”?) and put them in front of me, so that once I get the message they contain, I can stop having these disturbing nightmares anymore!

Or, on second thoughts, even if I continue having those dreams, what difference does it really make? So I was kept awake for like 2 hours in the night, but what of it? Ok, I am a bit groggy now, since I woke up in the morning! But I don’t have any exams to give today! Neither do I have to operate any heavy machinery or drive! And thankfully, I’m not even a surgeon! So there isn’t any risk of leaving behind a pair of scissors in a patient’s abdomen either!

I am safely at home with my dad… and it’s a Sunday… and I can very well take a nap anytime during the day… and wake up feeling fresh and alert after that…! As a matter of fact, I think this is exactly what I should do right now… after I post this entry that is!

PS - I think the only REALLY disturbing part about these dreams is that sense of humiliation that comes with the knowledge that even after 30 years, I actually think of running to my dad because of a stupid nightmare!

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3 comments:

Shreesh said...

Well My dreams mostly consisted only of Lord maha vishnu's sudarshan chakra moving.Now for the past few years i have different spiritual teachers comming in my dreams and putting me in such a situation and i dont know why but i always end up asking them to kill me or smash off my head and and always happy at the prespective, but they never do it.And the dream ends with a message or a piece of information from them and iam left in a place and they leave me and iam sad why the hell do thay leave like that.So yes dreams do have a pattern.
I have had bad dreams too but only 2-3 times in night. My weired dreams are only in afternoon. My bad dreams are usually about not reaching or having skipped an exam..which after waking up turns out to be long over.These are usually in afternoon. The night time bad dreams are about someone in my family dying.
SO THIS IS WHAT I DO. WHENEVER I WAKE UP IN A NIGHTMARE OR A BAD DREAM, I CHANT KRISHNA'S NAME as GOVIND,or Govinda,or BhaJ Govindam,Or Govindam adi purusham twam aham bhajami.and go to sleep again,chanting this only. Thesre are different names of krishna you can chant at different occassions. while sleeping Padmanabha while eating Janardana,While travelling tri vikrama,while having medicine Vishnu.,so govindam is for bad derams.
My mom says when you have a bad dreams and wake up ..chant govindam and go to sleep for atleast 15 20 minutes again ..atleast lie down. Hoever if you ahve a very good and auspicious dream and its nearly dawn and you wake up ..dont sleep again.Try it hopefully it helps.

amrit said...

Ask someone to wish you 'sweet dreams' before you go to sleep. Hope it works for you! :)

Kaddu said...

@ Amrit
Ah ha! Interesting suggestion! Why don't u help me out with this "experiment" then? :D

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