Friday, July 20, 2007

From my Past Relationships, I have learnt…

This is a part of the questionnaire one has to fill while creating a profile on orkut. I have a profile on orkut too, for the last several months now… and I keep updating this point so very often there. Reason… relationships teach us so-so many things that it is just not possible to summarize everything in just one short paragraph and put it up there! Hence, I decided to answer this point in my blog here.

The first thing I learnt from relationships is that they come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes! While some may be just a 2-day interaction with someone you share your compartment with on a train-journey from Patna to Bangalore, there could be others in which you are just stuck for the rest of your life!

And yet, they all are the opportunities God gives us to learn… about ourselves, about people and about life in its totality! You could say… relationships are the “practicals” we get to test the “theoretical” knowledge we acquire over the years from life!

Relationships tell us what we are good at, and what aspects of our nature we need to work more upon. They are like mirrors, reflecting our own personalities all around us! They teach us how to love and to trust and to give.

Looking at my nephew giggling away with delight, as I throw him up in the air and catch him again… it makes me realize how simple trust is… and yet, it’s so hard to come by in later years of life!


I have learnt that while a lover teaches you all about vulnerability and “nakedness of soul”… beneath all those layers of protective masks you enshroud yourself in over years… it takes a child to teach you the true meaning of patience… when you are forced to repeatedly answer the same questions over-&-over again, when your impeccably kept room turns into your kid’s playground, when the baby has to go potty exactly when you sit for lunch…!!

It is also a child who eventually makes you realize how many sacrifices your parents have made for you! I have learnt that no matter how badly I screw things up, or how nasty I get, my Dad will always be there for me! His love for me will never “go out of the window”!

I have learnt that when a person deserves to be loved the least, he really truly NEEDS to be loved the most at that time! And I have learnt that having even one person at your side who believes in you and the inherent goodness in you… when the entire world around you turns against you… when you yourself have no faith or respect left for yourself… it could just completely change your life forever! More importantly, it could just save you from jumping off that train or that high-rise building, consumed with hatred for yourself!

I have learnt how to forgive, both others and myself… and I have also learnt how difficult it can be to forgive… especially yourself! I have learnt detachment. I have learnt it isn’t wrong to “move on”… ‘coz more than anyone or anything else, you owe your loyalty to your own growth and development first!

I have learnt that relationships aren’t always what they appear to be on the surface. The way people act/react with/to each other, could often have reasons going as far back as a previous birth maybe! Everything in this world happens for a reason. But, most of the times, the limited scope of our perspective and our own egos don’t allow us to see those reasons! I have seen how ego and power-play come into picture in relationships. We are so surrounded with the “I”, “Me” and “Myself” that we are just not able to see the other person’s point of view!

And I have learnt how easy it is to give up on people ‘coz of the “coal” you see on the surface… and yet, with just a little bit of perseverance and faith, you could end up with a mine full of “diamonds”… if only you choose to dig deep enough and for long enough… and have the eye to discern the "diamonds" when you come across them!

Relationships can really bring you rich rewards if handled with enough TLC… Tender Love & Care!

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7 comments:

Ranga said...

Just to add to your thoughts on parenting:
The "trust" from your child re-inforces faith in yourself. And you see the "joy of giving" in a whole new different light when you raise a child. With this newly renewed faith and and a recently enlightened point of view, you begin to re-assess ALL relationships youv'e had so far.Just my $0.02. Good post!

Neelabh said...

I am too poor with relationships.

i wouldnot comment.

I was unable to understand it.

Kaddu said...

@ Clara, Ranga & Rachna -
Yes... Very true! I guess the moment I held my new-born nephew in my arms for the very first time, it really did bring together all the shattered pieces of my faith in the world around me!

@ Neelabh - I think u understand a lot more than u let on... :)

Shreesh said...

humm ..now thats quite serious business..but its very beautiful and atleast i would'nt the words beautiful enough to write a comment on tht ..however i will just say one thing ...HOLDING A SMILING BABY ..(not the one which pissis on you) SURELY LIFTS UP UR SPIRITS ..TELLS YOU THAT LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL..

Varun said...

Beautiful

Sasquatch said...

was absolutely brilliant! :)
loved it... good language and true to the last letter! :)

Kaddu said...

@ Sasquatch:
Thanks! Hope to see more of you around this place! :-)

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