Was just wondering today about the so many different relationships I am in, with so many different people... my dad, my sister, my relatives, my friends, my best friends... and also about the so many different relationships I've had in the past, with people who are not in my life anymore... my mom, old classmates, school teachers, office-colleagues, so-called "boyfriends"...
I have met so many MANY people in my life. Why is it that some of them still continue to be a part of my life while some don't? What if the people who have been with me for so long now were to leave me or grow apart from me someday? Would it hurt me? Would it make my life miserable and not worth living? Am I so dependent on any one person for my happiness in life? What difference would it make if my friends didn't have time to see me or talk to me anymore? How would it affect me if they didn't feel the need to share their lives with me anymore?
Did I bring them along with me when I was born? I did bring my 2 legs, 2 hands, 2 eyes, a nose, mouth, 2 ears, lungs, a heart, a brain... So if I needed someone so essentially here to live my life, wouldn't I have brought him/her along with me too? But I didn't. Then what exactly are relationships for? Are they just instruments God gave us to help us do our job here, complete the assignments we were sent here to do?
How do relationships come into existence by the way? Two people met. One was bold & confident. The other was gentle & giving. They spent some time together & decided they make a good team together. So they became friends. Two more people met. One was witty & humorous. The other was organized & helpful. They decided to become friends too. Another two people met. One was wise & wanted to help others with his wisdom. And the other was going through some tough times. They had reasons to benefit from each other too.
And thus I sat down and analyzed all the various relationships I have been in so far & have seen around me till now. And I realized that each person in my life came in for a specific purpose. Each of my friends, relatives & family members had a role to play in my growth & development. Just like I had a role to play in theirs. And once that purpose is fulfilled, we just "move on".
Children find friends at school... & the parents are left behind. Adults find girlfriends/boyfriends or get married... & friends are left behind too. Husbands find "challenge-thrills" at work & wives are left behind. Wives get busy with children & husbands are left behind. It's like each one of us is a "stepping stone" for the people in our lives... just like they are for each one of us!
What does this make us then? Selfish? Or is this the way we were destined to be? Is this what is called "detachment"? You need someone for a certain period in your life... and then you "out-grow" them (like clothes!) and seek the next person who'd help you along the next phase of your life's journey. We don't get attached to our old clothes & shoes. Then why do we want people to stay with us forever? Each person in our life is there for a specific phase in our life. Then why do we want to remain stuck in one particular phase only, just so we don't have to let go of the people with us in that phase?
That two people might decide to transit together to the next phases of their lives respectively is a different matter. But if one person chooses to remain stuck in one phase, thereby holding back the other person's growth too, then isn't it better for the latter to move on without the former? What really is the main purpose of our lives? To work on our own growth or to form ties? And even if we do form everlasting ties with people, then what? Are we going to take them along with us when we die too? But we didn't bring them along with us when we were born, remember?
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